That's how you know
by itwasyounme
Summary: Beca's in love with Jesse, but somebody else's in love with her ; Chloe. Days before she left for her new job, the redhead admitted romantic feelings for her friend. The brunette was left with doubts in her mind. At some point Jesse couldn't take it anymore and left, leaving Beca alone. But there was still Chloe. What if it was just friendship she felt for the redhead though?
1. Chapter 1

"Told you; endings are the best part" said Jesse with a grin on his face as he watched Beca come closer.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning in for a kiss and replied with a wide smile : "You're such a weirdo" before pressing her lips against his.

This was some time ago, and now, Beca was trying to get out of Jesse's grip because she had to get dressed. But she didn't want to, she was feeling good, laying on her dorm bed, his arms clenching at her waist, her nose snuggle in his neck. She sighed and finally got up, but he grabbed her wrist and kissed her knuckles with a pout, asking for the hundredth time if she really had to go. Rolling her eyes, she let him put his hands on her hips and towered over him with a mischievous smile, lifting his chin up with one finger as he lurked on her body and kissed him one last time. She made him get up and pushed him out of her dorm, because she knew she wouldn't be on time if he stayed while she was changing.

Jesse stopped in the doorstep and Beca groaned in despair as she closed the door. It was taking her all of her will to actually make herself go, but she knew it was important to her friends that she came. They were celebrating Aubrey and Chloe's graduation with a Bellas party in the old auditorium where they used to practice. She opened her closet and rolled her eyes at the mess. She couldn't keep it in order because whenever she did laundry, she didn't fold, she'd just throw her clothes somewhere in there and pray the door would close. Rummaging through her stuff to find something neat for the occasion, she stumbled across the jacket she wore for the initiation night.

All of it suddenly came back to her mind and she smiled slightly. Chloe's cold hands grabbing hers, pulling her so close the DJ had almost had a heart attack, thinking she was about to kiss her. And then she proclaimed they were going to be really fast friends and that brought back a whole lot more memories. Beca decided she'd wear the same jacket, maybe ― probably ― Chloe would notice and that would make her smile. The brunette knew the older woman was sad to leave, but she'd been offered a very nice job, just outside town, in her majoring domaine.

Althought at the start of the year Beca would've scoffed at anybody telling her she'd miss Aubrey, now she couldn't help but sigh at the idea of not having her around every day, bossing them around. The brunette looked at herself in the mirror and was surprised to see tears gathering at the corner of her eyes "Jesus, Beca, get your shit together, it's just a party!" she told herself as she furiously wiped them off. Applying her trademark eyeliner and black eye shadow, she was ready to leave.

Music was already playing really loud in the auditorium as the brunette walked in. It still had a faint smell of puke from a couple months ago, but mostly it smelled like damp concrete and beer. A smile crept up Beca's lips as she remembered the first day they were all here together and had to take an oath. She hadn't been in the auditorium for more than five seconds before a tipsy Cynthia Rose shouted "Hey y'all Beca's here!" and a series of "woot-woot!" greeted her. She rolled her eyes but was grinning like a kid.

Drinking with a straw a beverage that Beca was sure not to be juice, Chloe was swaying a little on her feet as she talked with Stacy, but when her eyes drifted away from the tall dark-haired girl and she saw the DJ, a wicked smile curled up her lips. Beca waved at her and went to get herself something to drink, feeling that everybody was already at the edge of being drunk. They had agree to make tonight a no-tear event, and so the girls were numbing the knot in their throats to see their leaders go with alcohol. Lots of it, Beca thought as she eyed the bar table with whiskey befriending some vodka, already in a relationship with the cranberry juice spilled all over, getting judged by the multiple beer bottles lined up. And there it was, standing out with shots all around, the tequila bottle. Right behind it were rum and coke bottles getting dirty.

Beca fixed herself something light to start with, but when she turned she almost spilled it all on her shirt because the redhead was inches away from her back, the blue of her eyes bulging out and glistening with mischief as she smiled from ear to ear, looking at the DJ's jacket. Beca gasped but regained composure and smiled back, although there was something in Chloe's gaze that made her slightly uncomfortable, yet she couldn't look away. Her mouth was suddenly dry when the taller woman grabbed her by the waist to pull her into a tight hug, lingering in. Beca had just enough time to put her glass down and wrap her arms awkwardly around her friend's shoulders. Being the shorter one, she had to get her toes to do so, and she felt Chloe tighten her grip around her as her hands clenched on her back.

The brunette lost herself in a moment in the embrace, her eyes closed; she inhaled deeply the sweet perfume of Chloe's hair, a shy smile playing at the corners of her lips. The graduate slowly let go of her, but Beca held on a little more, realizing just as the other woman pulled off that she wouldn't get to do this anymore, and it made her heart sink. Chloe smiled wildly at her and leaned over the brunette's face, pressing her forehead against hers, before saying in a hushed voice "I love you, Beca." and her tone was dead serious even though she was swaying a little bit from drunkenness.

At first, the DJ thought she was joking, and she answered with a smile and a slight squeeze on her hand, but when Chloe held on and tried to entwine their fingers together, Beca just gasped and jerked her hand away. Shocked, she back away from Chloe, who now realized what she just said and put a hand over her mouth. Shaking her head, she cried out Beca's name, but the brunette simply left without anybody but the older woman noticing.

Chloe cursed under her breath and tried to go after her, but Denise, who had seen everything from a distance, stepped in front of her and told her to wait until she was sober to have this conversation with Beca. Eyes wide in shock, the taller girl looked at her as if she spoke Chinese, but Denise added with a sweet smile "I might not say much, but I have ears, and eyes, Chloe. It's obvious, well to me at least, that it's not just friendship you feel for her. Just, let her breath a little bit and you'll go get her after, ok?" and Chloe agreed, nodding, as Denise held her arm and led her to a seat close by.

The DJ was breathing deeply, still trying to process what the redhead had just told her. "She loves me? She fucking loves me? What the hell is that supposed to mean!" yelled Beca at the jet black sky, tears stinging her eyes. She was mad at Chloe for telling her this on their last night together. The brunette had only wanted things to be easy, simple, for once in her life. She had Jesse, she had had a great time with the Bellas, but now Chloe was admitting this stupid crush on her and complicating things like never before. Cursing at herself, Beca held out her phone, finger on the speed dial for Jesse, but she couldn't bring herself to call him.

Long minutes passed before she heard steps coming towards her. Fearing it was Chloe, the brunette quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and looked at the sky, trying to get herself together. But it wasn't Chloe, it was Aubrey, slightly less drunk than her best friend. The blonde was walking straight but stumbling a little as she got closer to Beca. She stopped in front of the smaller girl and smiled sadly. "She told you, didn't she?" and the brunette nodded, feeling the knot tightens in her throat. The taller woman, even taller with those sky-high heels, held out her arms and Beca nestled in it, finding it oddly soothing to be hugged by her former leader.

Stroking the other woman's hair, Aubrey felt sad for her, but she was proud her best friend had finally told her, because, truth be told, she couldn't stand Chloe's rambling about her feelings anymore. That's all they talked about since the finals and it was the blonde who pushed her into confessing tonight, but she didn't think the redhead would do it while intoxicated with alcohol. Beca wiggled her way out with a shy smile, a blush coloring her cheeks as she thanked Aubrey. The blonde asked her how she felt, but Beca simply shook her head and told her she didn't want to talk about it. _Back to her walls_, thought Aubrey as she shrugged. She'd have to get Chloe to call her and sort all this out, though, she promised herself as she wished Beca goodnight.


	2. Chapter 2

Walking had always helped Beca with her endless thinking, but as she paced the sidewalk hastily, she was unable to calm herself down. Desperate for something to distract her, the brunette dialed Jesse's number, but at the sound of the first ring, she hung up and made her way back to the party. As she approached the old building, she stopped dead in her tracks. She couldn't do it. She simply couldn't go back in there and act as if nothing happened. Chloe had just confessed her feelings, romantic feelings, and she just ran away. What kind of person does that to their friends? Beca sighed, because she knew the exact kind of person who did this. Her. She was a coward, and she knew it. Knowing she wouldn't go back in there and that there was no point in pacing, the soon-to-be sophomore dragged her feet to her dorm.

Kimmy Jin gave her a cold-blank stare as she walked in, apparently she was disturbing a very important Skype meeting, but Beca couldn't care less tonight. She lifted her hands as a peace offering but rolled her eyes once the other girl's back was turned to her. The brunette fell on her bed with a heavy sigh and she stared at her phone screen for what seemed like forever before dialing Chloe's number. The DJ groaned in despair and flipped on her stomach burying her head in her pillow. She threw her phone on her desk, unable to push the green button to actually talk to her friend. Rolling again, she bumped into the wall, her gaze trying to pierce the ceiling. She felt tears gather at the corner of her eyes, but she was too proud to let them fall in Kimmy Jin's presence. Fuck Beca, what's happening with you? Why can't you just call Jesse, listen to his sweet voice and just let go of this? She was obviously drunk, she didn't meant it that way. You know that dude! she tried to reason with herself, but the only thing she could think about was that time, months ago, when Chloe barged into her shower demanding for her to sing.

She reached out and grabbed her phone, starting to dial Jesse's number once again. Something was holding her back though; she felt heat rushing to her head as her hands clenched into tight fists. How could she do this to me? Beca thought again. She wanted explanations; she needed them; now. She punched Chloe's number in, but when she was about to hit the "Call" button, her finger wouldn't cooperate. Struggling with herself, Beca finally gave up. She wouldn't get anything out of the red head tonight, she was too drunk for any sort of coherent conversation. The DJ wanted to sleep so badly, but even after she changed to be more comfortable, only noticing then that Kimmy jin had left ― her groans and sighs must've been too loud for her Skype call ― she found herself staring at the ceiling, her mind racing. Maybe if I close my eyes, sleep will get the better of me, she thought without being truly convinced.

_"You guys waited up for me?" _

_ "Of course we waited up for you!"_

_ Beca was in a crappy mood because she knew she'd just broken Jesse's heart, but when Chloe replied like it was the most natural thing for them to do ― wait for her ― even if it was the middle of the night and they were probably all tired as one could be, she couldn't help but smile and feel better already. The brunette had never been one to have close friends, but these girls were growing on her more than she would admit. The freshman really thought Aubrey would listen this time and she was sincerely taken aback when the blonde shut her up and went on with her original plans. Beca didn't know how long she could put up with her bossy attitude, but one look at Chloe reassured her because the redhead was smiling slightly and her eyes were pleading with her to just let it go. So she did, but when the other Bellas got up to leave, Chloe took her time and she was about to exit the room when she blurted out "Can I listen?" Beca was surprised by the question, but she smiled and nodded, leading her friend back to her desk. Chloe sat on her bed, just like Jesse had a few weeks ago, and the brunette found herself tearing up. She furiously wiped her eyes, but the tears didn't escape Chloe's gaze. "What's wrong, Beca?" she asked but the DJ shook her head and handed her her headphones so she could listen. "No, Beca, tell me, there's something wrong." the redhead insisted and this time, Beca didn't fight it. She sighed and told her everything; that Jesse had come to get her, that he had called her dad and the part she was least proud of, that she had yelled at him. Something in Chloe broke that night, because she was sure, now, that her friend was indeed falling for that Treble, and that she'd never stand a chance. In the middle of her sentence, the smaller girl noticed that she was talking to her bed because the blue eyed senior was lost in her thoughts. Snapping her fingers in front of her face, Beca saw something in Chloe's eyes, but she couldn't clearly see what it was before the other woman looked away. The dark haired girl was about to ask what that was all about but Chloe took the headphones and changed the subject flashing one of her vibrant smiles. Confused but glad for the distraction, Beca lost herself in her explanations, finding encouragment in the older woman's smile and small nods as she made her listen to some of her favorite mixes._

_ It was dawn when Beca shut up, realizing just how much she had talked. "Oh gee, I'm sorry Chloe, I didn't mean to keep you that long, I'm ― " but the DJ was cut short by Chloe's hand on her thigh, smiling ; "It's okay, if I didn't want to listen to you, I wouldn't have stayed, Beca. Besides, I think that's the most words I've heard you say at once." Beca felt good, right at that moment, and she was leaning in unconsciously, drawn closer to Chloe's face as their eyes locked. They were inches apart when the door opened and Kimmy Jin came in, shooting a deadly glare at her roomate. Both girl jerked away from each other and chuckled nervously. The red head got up and left with awkward goodbyes._

It was all making sense now, but it was too late. The way Chloe looked at her that night when she talked to her about how she felt bad for lashing out at Jesse when all he did was help her, that something she saw in her eyes right after that. It was hurt. Hurt because she was already in love with her that night, and if Kimmy Jin hadn't interrupted them, they probably would have kissed. But Beca had chosen to ignore this, she thought that if she convinced herself it had been a dream, it would go away. But tonight, with Chloe's confession, she realized it never went away. It was always in the back of her mind, every time she looked at Chloe, a soft voice whispered in her ear that this was not only friendship.

The brunette grabbed her pillow and muffled her hopeless scream in it, closing her teary eyes tight. This is a dream, this is all a dream, this can't be happening, she repeated to herself, pinching her arm. Nothing happened; she was still lying in her bed, with Chloe's word blinking in the back of her eyelids. I love you, Beca. "No you don't! You can't! Not right now, not when you're going away, not when I,m finally happy, when my life is simple!" Beca shouted trough the feathers of her pillow still resting on her face. When the words came out of the redhead's mouth, she wouldn't believe them, but as they sank in, she didn't know what to do, because if Chloe had told her those exact same words only a few months ago, things would've been different. She didn't though, this wasn't a few months ago, this was now. Beca had taken off, unable to face her feelings, not knowing whether she should slap her or kiss her. When things got difficult, Beca Mitchell did what she did best; run away.

The next morning, Chloe woke up with a massive headache and a bitter taste in her mouth. She tried opening her eyes, but immediately light burned her pupils. She hissed furiously at the sun peering through the curtains. She didn't know what time it was, in fact, she didn't even care, because she just wanted to go back to sleep. A soft knock at her closed door made her wince and she heard Aubrey's voice call from the other side. "Go away" she yawned, pulling her sheets over her head when the door creaked open. "Come on, we have to go to the store. I still need some business clothes." The redhead moaned, but she eventually got up when her best friend wouldn't stop poking her side, making her giggle. Chloe had never been a grumpy person, even when she was this hangover, and she couldn't fool her roommate.

The thing is, if she got up, she'd have to remember what happened last night, and even if she had a pretty good idea of it, she didn't actually want to remember clearly. She knew, though, that Aubrey wouldn't have any of it, so she didn't even bother to fight. The shorter woman was about to enter the bathroom when the blonde dropped the bomb.

"Are you going to call her before or after shopping?" Aubrey asked sipping at her coffee like it was just a casual question.

Chloe rolled her eyes and dragged herself to the couch were she collapsed in a moan.

"Bre that was such a big mistake! Why did I listen to you? She took off, for Heaven's sake! I'm not going to call her. I'll just put it on my drunkness next time I see her. Hell she might not even bring it up! You know Beca, she's not one to talk much…" Chloe was trying to talk herself out of it, but her best friend wouldn't hear any of it.

She planted herself in front of the couch, staring down at Chloe, and she stated in a soft voice : "You. Will. Call. You promised me you'd clear that up before we leave, Chlo. I won't let you back out of it just because you're scared. You don't even know what she thinks of it! Maybe she feels the same…." The blonde trailed off, walking back to her room.

Chloe was on her feet in a second, ignoring the throbbing pain at her temples and rushed to block Aubrey's way.

"You think she does?

- I don't know, Chloe, but you'll never find out if you don't call.

- But what if she doesn't? What happens then?

- I don't know, you figure that out when she answers you, Chloe."

Back to the couch, the red head moaned in despair because she knew Aubrey was right; there was nothing else she could do but call her friend. She owed her an apology at least, because that was kind of a dick move to confess this while drunk as could be, right before she moved to the far end of town where she wouldn't get to see the brunette every day. She decided on a shower first, because she seriously couldn't handle the smell of sweat and alcohol on herself.

Aubrey was nowhere to be found when she emerged from the foggy bathroom forty-five minutes later, feeling fresh and clean but still groggy from her hangover. Chloe found a note on the counter, near a fuming cup of coffee ― she smiled at that, it was the kind of small things Aubrey did that she loved so much ― that said she went out shopping alone because she really thought Chloe should have a face to face talk with Beca. She went to her room and took her time to get dressed, knowing she was acting childish by putting off the phone call.

She didn't have to call Beca though, because a sharp knock at the door startled her as she was putting on her jeans. Thinking it was Aubrey who had forgotten her keys and was coming back to get them, she hopped to the door while buttoning her jeans, wearing nothing else but a gray cotton bra. She opened the door already smiling, finishing to pull her zipper up

"Forgot something Au―" she stopped in the middle of her sentence as she looked up and realized it wasn't Aubrey,

"Oh. Beca." Was all Chloe could manage to say.


	3. Chapter 3

The younger woman was holding her hand halfway to her face, not sure if she should cover her eyes or not. Immediately, Chloe's mood changed and a big smile curled up her lips. _God, she's making it hard to be mad at her_, Bec thought as she looked down, now unsure what she came here for in the first place. When she left her dorm, she had it all planned in her head. She was going to tell Chloe she wasn't feeling the same for her, she would assure the redhead that she'd still be her friend though, and that was it. _That's not it, goddamn it,_ groaned Beca in her mind. Both taking a deep breath, they looked at each other and spoke simultaneously.

"Beca ―

- Chloe I ― "

They laughed nervously and their cheeks flushed with pink. Beca was first to speak again though, and right at that moment, Chloe realized that the brunette wasn't here to admit her own romantic feelings. Her shoulders dropped in a sigh as she settled in the couch. The DJ hesitated to step inside and sit with the graduate but she relented; she at least owed her an honest answer. She sat up straight and made sure to avoid eye contact with her friend.

"Chloe, I don't love you the way you love me." Beca detached every word, as if she was still trying to convince herself.

Throughout the year they spent together, Chloe had become very aware of Beca's foibles; when she's nervous she'll play with the ring on her left thumb; when she's upset she'll roll her eyes and avoid eye contact; when she's happy she'll stick her tongue between her teeth while smiling. Right now, Beca was twisting the ring on her left thumb, as well as clearly avoiding her gaze. Something wasn't quite right with that confession, and Chloe wanted to know the real deal.

"Don't try to lie to me, Beca. What is it?" asked the redhead in a soft voice, reaching out to grab the other girl's hands so she'd stop torturing her cuticles; another thing she'd do when she was confronted.

"Nothing. I just told you. I guess I was scared that you'd think this was the end of us. It's not, I promise. I don't want to lose a friend like you, but I don't feel the same. "The brunette sighed, still unable to look Chloe in the eye.

"Come on, look at me" the taller woman pleaded, a small smile gracing her features.

Beca lifted her head, and there were tears in her eyes; she was just too proud to cry in front of her and was biting her bottom lip hard. Instantly, Chloe knew there was something more, and she frowned. She was about to ask for it, but Beca stared directly into her eyes.

"I don't know, Chloe. I don't know, ok? I don't know if what I feel for you is just friendship, ok? There, I said it. Are you happy now? Are you happy to know that I'm so fucking confused right now I can't even answer my boyfriend's call? Is that what you wanted me to say; that I may or may not feel the same for you, but I can't take that chance. Not right now, Chloe. Not right now."

The words sank in her mind with mixed feelings. She said she might feel the same for me! Chanted Chloe's positive side, but a more rational voice reminded her of her last words; I can't take that chance. As she realized what Beca really meant, her throat clenched and her mouth went dry.

"What do you mean, you can't right now, Beca?" Her tone was hushed, almost a whisper.

"I mean that I can't let go of everything like that for something I'm not sure about." Beca's voice was determined, but still shaky from emotion.

"But, if you're not sure about Jesse ―

- Did I say I wasn't sure about him, Chloe? I've never been more sure about somebody in my life than him, Chloe, you just don't understand," now she was upset, and she was back to avoiding her gaze.

"Then why are you telling me this? Why, Beca?" Chloe was almost choking on her words, her ocean blue eyes filled with tears.

The brunette jumped from the couch and started pacing the living room. Her hands were gesturing and a shaking a little as she realized she had no reasons to tell Chloe. She was feeling like a mute desperately trying to say something out loud as she opened her mouth and closed it sharply. Finally, she stopped her frantic pacing when Chloe stood up and blocked her way, grabbing her by the shoulders. The brunette went back to the couch with a heavy sigh and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I don't Chloe. I don't know ok?" she was relieved she had said it, because it was the truth; she didn't know why she felt the need to tell her about all this.

"You don't know? You expect me to just gobble that up and shut up? I said I love you Beca, do you know how much it took me to actually tell you? Do you have any idea what it's been like?

- No I don't Chloe. And I'm sorry. I really didn't want to hurt you, I came here thinking I'd simply tell you I didn't love you like you do, but last night, when you said it I couldn't help but wished you said it earlier ―" Beca covered her mouth with her hand as the realization of what she just said hit her.

Chloe's eyes widened in shock and her mouth hung open. Beca looked around and didn't even have to make up an excuse when her phone rang in her pocket. She looked at the caller ID and showed it to Chloe; it was Jesse. The redhead took her phone and clicked the red button to cancel the call.

"What the hell Chloe? I was actually going to answer that!" Beca spat in an angry voice.

"No, you're going to explain to me what you just said?" Chloe shot back with a daring glare.

"Fine. Ok. Whatever." She gave up, because she knew she couldn't handle fighting with her.

Jesse was persistent though; he called back. Chloe shut down the call once again, and crossed her arms, waiting for Beca to start talking.

"I've never been one to have many friends, Chloe, you know that. In fact, you were the very first person who didn't care what I looked like or who didn't back off when they had a taste of my attitude. You just stormed into my life and I swear I was almost scared of you at first, but ―" she was cut by her phone ringing again.

This time though, the brunette was faster than her friend and she apologized while declining the call. Jesse had left her a bunch of text messages too, and she ignored all of them. She felt bad for doing this, but she had to. Taking a deep breath, she continued:

"But you knew better. We became fast friends, just like you said, but what I didn't expect was to feel so attached to you. And I can't deny it, you are just ―" again, her cellphone was ringing.

Chloe rolled her eyes, starting to get more and more annoyed. She let Beca ignore the call for a fourth time and gestured for her to go on. She was eager to hear the end of that story, because she didn't know that much about her friend's life, except she wasn't a badass at all, it was only a façade. Beca was struggling now, because she knew she was getting to the hard part. The shorter girl didn't know if it was a very good idea to tell the woman who was in love with her that she simply missed her window, but Chloe had asked for it.

"Well, you are beautiful, and so it didn't help me sort all this out. But then, Jesse came in my life, and seriously, I tried not to like him, but the boy's got his way and I just couldn't help it. So I thought that if I didn't think about it long enough, it'll go away."

Beca refused to look at Chloe, and when her phone rang for the fifth time, Chloe simply it back. The redhead was hurt, be she was mostly sad; she missed her opportunity. God knows she's been in love with Beca for more than just a month now, but she was always too afraid the brunette wasn't feeling the same to tell her. Now, she had to face the consequences of her cowardice: she lost the girl. Beca took her phone and mouthed an apology, her eyes filled with tears and her mouth was dry as she answered her boyfriend.

"Hey baby, I'm sorry, I know, I know." She looked over at Chloe, who was still sitting on the couch, and she lowered her voice "I'm sorry Jesse, really. Ok, yeah, I'm coming. Bye." She hung up and walked backwards to the door as she said to Chloe, "I have to go Chloe. Listen, uhm, I'm sorry, ok? I really didn't want to tell you, and I really didn't mean to hurt you. I'll just give you some time, ok? I'll call you soon."

The door closed behind Beca just as she got a text from Aubrey telling her she was on her way. _Good_, thought Chloe, because right now the last thing she wanted was to be alone.


	4. Chapter 4

"Earth to Chloe, hello?" Aubrey was waving a hand in front of her eyes, looking slightly annoyed.

The redhead snapped back to reality instantly. She smiled and asked for her friend to repeat herself, again. The blonde groaned and grabbed Chloe by her shoulders, pretending to shake her like crazy. That got the shorter woman laughing and she remembered what Aubrey was talking about.

"Right, the moving! Yeah, packed my bags, I only need to pack up what's in my shelf and I'm good to go.

- Great! We'll leave right after noon, you remember?" asked the blonde in an excited voice.

Chloe nodded and hopped back to her room, humming the song coming out of her closed door. The graduate was piling up books in the carton boxes Aubrey had gotten them when her phone buzzed with a new text. Unlocking the screen, her heart raced when she saw it was from Beca. The girls hadn't spoken in three days; since their last conversation. She read it and a shy smile curled her lips. It said; "_Have a good trip, text when you get there. I'll miss you, and I'm sorry_".

The redhead ran to Aubrey's door and didn't bother to knock before storming in.

"She texted! Aubrey, she texted me!" sang Chloe with a huge grin on her face, her eyes glistening with happiness.

"What did she say?" asked Aubrey with a suspicious tone, not sure she was so happy Beca actually texted her best friend.

"She said she'll miss me, and that she's sorry, and to text when we get there. She says she's going to miss me, Bre! Miss me!" Chloe chirped in an excited voice. "Should I call her? Say goodbye?"

"No." It came in a sharp and clear tone and it took Chloe by surprise.

Frowning, she left the room, hurt by her best friend's attitude towards her happiness. Aubrey sighed with annoyance, but she went after her and stopped her by grabbing her arm.

"Chloe. Chloe, don't take it like that. Chlo, I didn't mean it that way, ok? I'm sorry, it's just that with us moving out, I'm a little on edge right now, and I can't have you running around and not paying attention. I need you for this. You'll call her once we hit the road. How about that?"

Aubrey was holding her hands now, squeezing them slightly. She offered one of her very convincing smiles and Chloe rolled her eyes but agreed to call Beca in the car. They parted, Aubrey thanking Chloe with an excited shriek and another mischievous smile. It took them half the time they thought it would to pack everything in the small apartment.

The moving truck arrived early and by eleven thirty, they were saying goodbye to what had been their home for the past three years. Chloe was tearing up, but Aubrey's excitement to get to their new place got the better of her and she got in the car with an excited smile playing on her features. Aubrey winked at her and popped a mysterious CD in the stereo.

As soon as the first notes of "I Saw the Sign" blared through the speakers, Chloe hissed at her best friend and skipped the song. By the time they merged onto the highway, they were both giggling like two schoolgirls. Throughout the last year, Aubrey hadn't spent as much time as she'd wanted with her best friend, and now she was glad for the two hours road trip to their new house, just outside of town.

Meanwhile in her dorm, Beca was getting frustrated with her latest mix, and Jesse hadn't returned her calls. It was almost noon, he was supposed to be up, and back from his parent's brunch. They had planned to spend the day together, maybe even go to the restaurant. Beca had woken up early for this; well if you'd say ten in the morning is early. She had made herself pretty, just for him, and now he was late and she was getting nowhere with her mix. Plus, Chloe didn't text her back when she said she'd miss her.

Those last three days had been very painful for the brunette; she was still trying to figure out what she meant when she said to Chloe she wished she'd said it earlier. Beca wasn't thinking straight since that day, and things had been tense between Jesse and her because of that. Now he was just aggravating her crappy mood and she knew she had no right to be mad at him, but he made it so easy; never shouting back at her, never giving up on her. How was she supposed to control herself when he made it so easy to be mad at? Beca groaned and threw her headphones on her desk.

She was about to get up and go for a walk when somebody knocked at her door. He better have a good excuse, growled Beca in her mind as she got up to open the door. He did have a good excuse or more like he made sure he was getting forgiven, and quick. In front of her was an all-suited up Jesse, holding out a heart-shaped lollipop and sporting a schoolboy grin.

"Did ya miss me?" he said, fluttering his eyelashes.

Beca couldn't help the smirk on her lips and she rolled her eyes, pulling him by the shirt to get him inside. He half cried for help as she did so, earning himself a playful shove on the chest. Beca closed the door and parted his arms so she could snuggle in, resting her head over his heart. Taken aback by his girlfriend's cuddling mood, Jesse took a second to appreciate the fact that she seemed to be needing him right now and wrapped his arms around her tiny frame.

He heard her mumble something, but he was lost in his mind, tracing abstract patterns with his thumbs on her back, breathing the sweet perfume of her hair. She pulled away and squinted her eyes, not sure if he wanted her to repeat because he heard right and wanted her to say it again, or because he genuinely didn't understand. She repeated anyway, and a wide smile appeared on his face ;

"I missed you." She said in a soft voice, feeling his arms pull her in another hug.

It was Jesse who pulled away this time, but only to brush her lips with his, making sure to wait until she actually had to get on the her toes to reach his mouth before giving in completely. He held her close to his body for a long moment, but a furious growl from her stomach broke the moment.

"He's been waiting for you for the past hour, you should feed him before he devours me from inside." Beca stated with a serious gaze.

Jesse bit down his bottom lip, looking at her from under his eyelashes, making himself irresistible before asking with a smile; "Do I have time to go change?"

She nodded, unable to resist his charms and he took her hand in his, kissing her lips once again before leaving. She rolled her eyes and went back to her computer. At the same moment, her phone rang and she thought it was Jesse calling to ask her opinion on which boxer he should wear; it would've made sense because he was this silly. So she didn't look at the caller ID and answered in a playful voice.

"Hey babe, can't choose between gray and red boxers?" an awkward silence met her and she quickly checked the caller ID; Chloe. "Shit. Chloe, hi! I'm… sorry for that. I thought it was Jesse calling because he was just there a minute ago and… yeah." She shut up, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

"Well, in which of them would I look better?" Chloe asked in a playful tone, not ready for the answer Beca shot back in an instant:

"Without any" immediately, the brunette regretted her words and blushed furiously. "I'm sorry Chloe! Oh God, I'm so, so sorry! Shit." now she was feeling bad.

In the car, Chloe bit down her tongue really hard to muffle the internal scream she felt building up in her throat. She squeezed Aubrey's hand so hard the blonde twisted out of her grip and massaged her knuckles with a glare to her best friend. Beca was trying to come up with something to say, but her mind has gone blank. Finally, she asked if they were ok and Chloe sensed the distance in the brunette's voice. It made her sad because she knew she ruined their friendship, and there was nothing she could do now to take it back. Chloe assured her they were great and Beca hung up in a hurry after saying a quick goodbye.

The DJ banged her head on her desk, groaning. She tried calling her boyfriend to see if he was picking her back up or if they were meeting at their favorite diner just outside campus. He didn't answer and she was immediately annoyed. She couldn't explain why, but whenever something went wrong with Chloe or anybody else in her life, she took it out on Jesse. Today was no different, so when she knocked at his door and heard him playing games with Benji, her level of annoyance exploded.

She entered the room and planted herself in front of the TV, glaring at Jesse.

"Jesse? What the fuck are you doing?" she exclaimed, her arms crossed and her mouth a thin line.

"Beca, I'm sorry, you know I can't resist when Benji hands me a controller… We were just playing this one game and I was going to pick you up right after" he tried to pull her into a hug, but she shrugged him off and walked to the door.

"Whatever. I'm going to get something to eat. You can join me when you're done with your boys' games" she spat with a venomous tone.

Jesse knew that when she was in this state of mind, no amount of apologies could do. He sighed and grabbed his jacket to follow her outside. He was starting to grow tired of being the one yelled at when he didn't do anything wrong. The Treble cared a lot about Beca, but he was getting a bad feeling ever since she went to the party and didn't call him when she got to her dorm like she said she would. _I'll just talk to her about that night; maybe she'll tell me what happened_, he told himself as they were walking towards the restaurant.

"Don't" the brunette jerked her hand away from Jesse, shoving it in her pocket instead.

The young man clenched his teeth but didn't say anything. He was a very patient man, but he had played enough of this game with her and he didn't want a rematch.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been almost two months already, and Chloe was enjoying this new job more than she would've thought. Her kids were the smartest ones, well that's what she thought, and they were the cutest, that she was sure of. Every week, they would go and play in the park, and that was her favorite moment, because she could see the happiness flow right through the children; their sloppy legs and uncoordinated movements and that smile bigger than the moon stretched from ear to ear on their face no matter what. Chloe was always a bit bitter when she watched them play with all their innocence, because it reminded her of her own childhood, when nothing was more important than to make sure her teddy bear was always around; when even the smallest thing seemed like a wonder. Growing up had been hard for her; she was always let down by others. She was getting tired of it, but she kept going on, always hoping for better.

Aubrey was having the time of her life too, her boss loving her strength and determination to make it in this world of shark lawyers, plus he thought she was cute. The blonde knew that it wouldn't be a smart decision if she accepted his invitation for a drink, but she just couldn't resist those big green eyes. Admittedly, she did say yes to get out of the house. Ever since they moved from Barden, Chloe had been a mess. Well, not since they moved, since she called Beca in the car and the brunette shut her out like she was nothing.

The rest of the car ride to their new house had been a chaotic one; where Aubrey would do anything she could possibly think of to make Chloe feel better. The redhead was trying her best to get into her best friend's light mood, but she just couldn't shrug off Beca's words. She knew she shouldn't be hoping for more, but Chloe would always hope for something more. That's how bad she was in love with the brunette.

The first days were painful for Chloe, resisting the need to call Beca every night just to tell her about her day. She missed the DJ but not only because she was longing for her, but because they were really close friends and this new awkwardness between them was killing her. Aubrey knew her friend, though, and just like she thought, the redhead immersed herself in her work to forget everything else. It worked, but now all Aubrey was hearing about in the house was Chloe chirping about her children. She couldn't bear it anymore.

There was more to this date, though, but Aubrey didn't want to think about it because it would only make things worse. Lately, whenever Chloe was around the blonde's mood automatically lifted up. No matter what was going on in her mind, when her best friend walked in an instinctive smile tugged at her lips. Aubrey was getting more and more annoyed with herself, and she was starting to believe that Chloe was growing on her and she was slowly transforming into her twin. Aubrey didn't want that, because as much as she loved Chloe's personality, she needed to be focused and fierce for court; she'd been given quite a challenging client as a welcome gift and they were going to trial in a few weeks. She couldn't concentrate when Chloe was in the same room as her, so tonight, she decided she'd get out of the house because she couldn't work anyway.

The red head had a mischievous grin on her face when she knocked on Aubrey's bedroom door, half open. The blonde was in front of her mirror, applying eyeliner with nothing on but her bra and a pair of black stockings. She stood there, not saying anything, just looking at her best friend and wondering how she never noticed how gorgeous she was. The bright light was throwing shade on her back, defining a superb curve right above her butt, and she had those butt cheeks on her lower back, only half-covered by the waist band of her stockings. Chloe was climbing her way up to her muscular shoulders when the blonde let out a sigh.

"How long are you going to stare at me with that stupid smile on, Chloe?" she asked with a smirk.

Red heated Chloe's cheeks as she snapped back in reality and stuck out her tongue, squinting her eyes. Aubrey turned around and grabbed her bathrobe on her bed, feeling slightly dizzy at the thought of Chloe staring that intensely at her. She'd known from the beginning that she was standing there, but something in her glistening eyes made her shut up until she couldn't take it anymore. Feeling her best friend's eyes caress her body gave her chills she didn't expect. The shorter woman suddenly seemed to remember what she came in for and handed her a flat black box.

"What's that?" the blonde inquired with a spark in her eyes.

She had always loved gifts, and she guessed this was a piece of clothing, so she was even more excited because nothing would spur her interest more than clothing and music. Chloe pressed her lips together and handed the box a little further. The blonde didn't need more encouragement as she sat on her bed, taking the box from her best friend's hands. She opened it, pulled the silk paper to the sides and gasped.

"Chloe! Oh my God!" was all that she could say for a long moment as she unfolded a stunning dress.

"I know I haven't been the best with my rambling about my kids for the past month, and so I thought I'd buy you an apology gift. I wanted to wait until your birthday, but since you're going out tonight, I want my best friend to be hot as could be." Chloe told her with a faint blush still coloring her cheeks

Aubrey jumped on her feet and hugged her tight. The dress was of a deep shade of blue, and fitting, with a one-shoulder strap and a flower pattern on the upper back. As soon as she let go of the redhead, Aubrey got rid of her bathrobe and slid gracefully inside the dress. Chloe zipped the back and they both looked at the final result in the mirror, grinning.

"You're perfect." Aubrey stated, softly stroking the sides of the dress.

Chloe rolled her eyes at her best friend's statement to the dress. The blonde turned around and thanked her once again, kissing her cheek, before putting on heels and leaving the house. The red head couldn't shake the vision of Aubrey in that dress for the rest of the night. When her friend came back from her date with her head in the clouds and her pulse racing like a fifteen year-old, Chloe sat with her on the couch, tea in hand, and listened to her perfect date.

Back at Barden, Jesse was rolling his eyes, upset for good this time, as Beca yelled at him for what seemed like the hundredth time for nothing.

"Jesse! You're not even listening for God's sake!" She slapped his shoulder with her small fist and that was it; the last straw.

The Treble glared at her and grabbed her by the wrist as she was about to hit him again. His voice was low and cold, but his eyes were hurt.

"That's it Beca. I'm done. Months ago, we had a conversation. You were yelling at me for trying to help out. I told you I didn't want to deal with those walls you put up around yourself. I'm done trying to care for somebody who obviously doesn't care for me the same way. I thought you got it the first time I told you; I love you, god damn it, but you can't let anybody love you because you're just too afraid. Now it's too late. I've put up with all your shit for two months now, but I'm drawing a line right here. I can't stay with you anymore. Jesus, all you do is yell at me whenever I breathe! How I am supposed to feel, uh?" he finished talking in a half-shouting voice, emotions getting the better of him.

Beca was stung by his words; she hadn't realized how much she'd acted like a bitch with him for the past few months. Pride held her back, though, and she shut her mouth tight, jerking her wrist away from his grip. Her eyes filled with tears but she wasn't going to let him know just how much he was breaking her heart right now. He sighed when she didn't say anything, only folding her arms. She watched him walk to the door without saying anything. Her mind was screaming at the top of her lungs for him to stay, to just hold her in his arms like he did so well. He didn't hear her though, and she didn't say anything. Just like that, the man she loved walked out of her life and she didn't even try to stop him.


	6. Chapter 6

Lying on her bed eyes closed, Beca was breathing heavily, trying to get rid of the last vision of Jesse she had. The hurt in his eyes when he walked through the door and she simply stood there, unable to look at him had crushed her heart. How could she tell him the real reason why she was acting so strange? She couldn't, because that would break his heart, even more than letting him believe she didn't care. She cared for him; she even cared too much. She was so conscious of all the pain she was causing him; she sincerely thought he would be better off without her.

A long and painful sob shook her entire being and she felt a moan build in her throat. She shut her mouth tight, clenching her teeth, fighting this feeling. She wanted to be angry at him for leaving her when she needed him most. She wanted to be mad, to get over this break up quickly, but she just couldn't. She knew it was all her fault, and that she'd crossed the line. Jesse had been the one person who stood there, at her side, when she was being mean to him. He'd been the one to hold her tight when she woke up at night, confusion draining all her energy.

Beca rolled on her stomach and buried her head in her pillows, knowing that once again, she wouldn't get any sleep. The brunette felt his absence every second of her life; when she woke up in the morning, tired as hell and she checked her phone out of habit to see if he texted her a good morning, when she finished class and her eyes looked for his eyes near the door; all the small things he did for her. She missed them more than she would say, and her pride made her even angrier with herself. Every time she tried to call him to apologize, she ended up throwing her phone on her desk or bed, raging.

Tonight was special though, because it was her birthday, and she was alone. She had vehemently declined the Bellas offer to go out ― her moodiness was putting a strain on all of the girls too, and she hated herself for that ― to celebrate. Jesse hadn't called. The clock on her wall indicated ten pm and she sighed. She did nothing all day but lie in bed and replay the events of last week.

All of a sudden, her cellphone rang in her pocket. She debated with ignoring it or not, and decided against it. Wiggling her phone out, she looked at the caller ID. Chloe. Before she could realize it, her pulse was racing and a small smile appeared on her lips.

"Hey!" Beca answered with light tone.

"Happy birthday!" she heard Aubrey and Chloe scream in the phone, and she pulled it away from her ears, wincing but smiling from ear to ear.

"Thank you guys, you have no idea how I needed this right now!" the brunette dropped with a heavy sigh.

She heard some rattling and the next second, Chloe's voice came in, her tone worried.

"Is everything okay, Beca?

- Yeah, yeah, everything's fine," she lied, feeling her heart shrink once again.

Chloe didn't buy it though, and she asked Beca once again. This time, the brunette was unable to lie to her friend. She missed the ginger so much, and she really wanted her to be with her right now, holding her tight. Only now did Beca realize that when she thought Jesse had always been the only one there for her, she'd been wrong. Chloe had been there too. She'd been there the whole time. Suddenly, air escaped her lungs, and she opened her mouth for oxygen, but couldn't breathe. Her ribs clenched around her heart, it was painful as truth hit her.

"Chloe.. I.. I'll call you back." She said hoarsely and didn't wait for an answer before hanging up.

She sat up in her bed and stared at the wall in front of her for what seemed like an eternity. Beca knew now why she'd felt so upset for the past two months. Ever since the day Chloe left, the brunette had felt something was missing; something very important. She knew now what that something was: Chloe. She needed the red head in her life every day; needed her to be here for her like before; needed her right now. She should've known better when she went to her and told her that if it'd been a few months earlier, they would've had a chance together. She should've known it would break Chloe's heart, drive her away. Did it, though? Beca asked herself.

The DJ wasn't sure it drove Chloe away or she drove herself from the red head. What if, though, what she thought she felt for her friend when they first met, she still felt it right now? What if she just wouldn't accept it because she didn't want things to get complicated? What if Jesse had sensed that she couldn't love him because she had Chloe on her mind the whole time?

"What if, what if, what if, why can't I have straight answers? Fuck!" Beca hissed as she rose from her bed and started pacing her dorm.

She was upset now, because she couldn't know for sure if it was only the absence of her friend that was making her think such things or if she was really longing for more with her. She couldn't shake the feeling she'd had when Jesse walked away, though. Almost like she felt relieved he was walking out on her, not her. She wanted to punch herself in the face for this, but she knew she had to admit it to herself; she could've never left Jesse, but she did all she could to push him away so far he'd never want to come back to her.

That was typical Beca Mitchell's behavior, right there: she shut out the one person caring enough for her to stick with her no matter how shitty she treated them. She did this once before, and it took all her strength not to fall apart when Jesse had told her he was done with her until she figured out why she couldn't open up to him. He'd been right in doing this, and she proved to him she could let him in. She had him for a moment, and then at the first sign of a storm, she ran back to her walls. She was making herself miserable because she was too afraid to love him with all her heart.

She was bitter and she knew she didn't deserve his love, but still, she couldn't help but think that he was just like the others; he flew out of her life when she was too much to handle. She shouldn't be blaming him, but blaming herself for this was unthinkable. The brunette was so lost she didn't hear her phone ring the first time. Tears fell on her shirt and she was shocked; since when was she crying? She snapped back to reality, wiping them off her eyes. She heard her cellphone and picked it up, half-hoping it was Jesse. It was Chloe though, and she didn't feel capable of talking to the red head right now.


	7. Chapter 7

Benji looked at his best friend with a sigh. It has been over two weeks since he broke up with Beca, and the sophomore knew he couldn't get her out of his mind. When he came from her dorm, Jesse was upset beyond himself and Benji was confused because the same morning, he'd told him he was going to take her on a romantic week-end. Then his friend told him all about Beca's shouting and mood swings; her rejection, how she shut him out completely for no apparent reason. Benji couldn't really understand because he'd never felt the way Jesse felt about his girl, but he took his best friend job very seriously. He did all he could think of to lift up the young man's mood.

It took time, but Benji made sure his mind wasn't always set on missing the brunette. Luckily, the Trebles were taking a lot of their time so Jesse eventually buried himself in classes and arrangements. After three weeks, he felt a little better. On the fourth, he even went out on Friday night instead of staying in his dorm watching sad movies. On the fifth week, Jesse was starting to completely let go of Beca. He remembered the first time he saw the air guitar solo he played for her with a childish grin and how she tried to hide an amused smile when he was thrown on the seat as the car stepped forward. He remembered hearing her voice for the first time, being struck by the softness of it. He remembered that day at the radio station when he made her laugh for the first time by acting silly with records.

It was always on the back of his mind, but he knew he had to let go. He couldn't keep up with her, always fighting her to break her walls down. Maybe he didn't understand why she had them all so high to make sure nobody would take the risk of climbing them, but he was only asking to know. He tried all he could to make her feel safe and loved enough so she'd let somebody else in. She did, for some time, but something happened and she wouldn't tell him what. Ever since that night of the Bellas party, she was off, always accusing him of something; never satisfied with how he treated her. He had had enough of it.

If she wanted to be mad it was fine, but he wouldn't be her scapegoat any longer. He had real feelings for her, but she didn't feel the same. He felt like she simply strung him along all this time and that hurt not only his pride, but his opinion of her; he thought she was different, that she was worth fighting for, but she ended up breaking his heart and watching as he walked away. Jesse sighed and rolled on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He'd been able to keep all those thoughts far in the back of his mind for the whole week-end but they came back rushing as soon as he didn't pay attention to be very busy.

He wanted to not care. He wanted to shrug it off like she'd been any other girl. She wasn't, though, and that pissed him off. Benji threw a pillow at his face because Jesse had started to drift away in his thoughts and the sophomore knew where this would be going if he didn't stop it now. Jesse sat up and thanked his friend with a small smile, being jerked back into reality with the hit. He sighed once again and decided on joining Benji in playing video games.

Chloe was sprawled on the couch after a particularly exhausting day, drooling in front of the TV, eyes closed. Aubrey got home and was about to say a loud and clear "I'm home!" when she noticed the ginger. She quickly grabbed her phone and snapped a picture of her friend, giggling. The sound woke her up and Aubrey hid her phone behind her back, acting normal. Chloe sat up and was about to rub her eyes and say hi to the blonde when the entire couch started to buzz. Startled, the shorter woman jumped on her feet, but Aubrey dug her way between the cushions and grabbed her cellphone. She handed it to the ginger who answered without checking the ID.

"Hey Chloe, it's me." She heard the voice and was instantly brought back to a little over a month ago.

"Hey Beca, how are you?" she emphasized the girl's name and Aubrey quirked her eyebrows but went to her room without a word.

"I'm…not okay" she sighed in a whisper and Chloe wasn't sure she heard right, but before she could say anything, Beca went on: "Jesse broke up with me, a week before my birthday, and I can't get him out of my mind. But most of all, I can't get _you_ out of my mind. It's driving me crazy Chloe, not having you around. Sometimes I'm on campus and I go 'Oh, I'll go by Chloe's place to say hi' and then I remember you're not here anymore. Every time I need my friend I dial your number, but then I just can't press the button. I don't know why, but I'm so fucking tired of feeling confused. I just want it to be over, is that too much to ask, Chloe? Why can't it be easy? Why can't I just love you and him, or just forget one of you? I don't know what to do anymore. I don't have anybody, I lost my boyfriend, I lost my best friend. And now that I'm realizing I might be in love with you, you're so far away it's just impossible, and …" Beca trailed off, choking on her tears, completely out of air.

Chloe had to sit down to process everything she just told her. It had taken Jesse walking away for her to realize that she might be in love with her too. Chloe had relayed Beca to the far end of her thoughts, forcing herself to think of anything but her lost love. Now she was coming running into her arms and the ginger wasn't ready at all for it. The blue of her eyes got even bluer as tears spilled from them. She was clutching her phone to her ear, trying to think of something to say.

"Beca…" it was a plea more than anything else, but it was all she could get out of her dry mouth.

"I'm sorry, so sorry Chloe. I shouldn't have dropped this on you, but you're the only one I could call. I know this is so much to ask of you but do you think that; maybe, I could spend the week-end at your place? I just can't take this loneliness anymore. And I.. I want to give you a chance" she stopped and then corrected herself "give us a chance."

That was everything the red head had hoped for three months ago. With her new life and her work, she did forget how it felt to be loved, though, and she didn't want to say yes to Beca and regret it after. The brunette still wasn't sure about her feelings, but she was willing to give them a chance. Maybe they'd work out so well she'd tag along for some time. Before she could fight it, Chloe had all these scenarios in her mind and hope took over her reason. She nodded and slapped her hand on her forehead because Beca couldn't see her nod.

"Yeah, that would be great. I'm sorry about all that you've been going through, Beca, I really am. But I'm glad you told me this, I'm glad you want to give us a chance. I… I love you" Chloe had almost not said it, but she didn't want to hide her feelings anymore.

The brunette sighed and let her body fall on her bed, relieved. She said goodbye to Chloe, already looking forward to their week-end. She knew it would be kind of awkward at first, but she was determined to make things work. She really needed the support of the red head right now, and she thought what better way to get it than letting herself be loved? Beca knew she wasn't a hundred percent sure about all this, and she also realized how bad things could turn out if, in fact, she didn't love Chloe. The thing is, though, she wasn't ready to go back to being alone the way she'd been when she first arrived at Barden.

She had felt alone for so many years, but the red head rushed in her life, throwing down every wall Beca had carefully built. She invaded her life without warning and the DJ wasn't ready to let that go, not since Jesse left her.


	8. Chapter 8

Beca had to agree to a family dinner with her dad and the step monster to have the car. She didn't care; she'd deal with that later and find a way to get herself out of it without hurting her father's feelings. Holding the keys of the SUV, she made sure she had everything before leaving her dorm. The brunette was over thinking this week-end with Chloe, but she couldn't help herself. There was something strange about having confessed her feelings over the phone, almost like it wasn't completely real. "Well, it'll be real when she smacks a kiss on your lips!" She snorted to herself.

She felt light-headed, and she was sure she'd forgotten something but got in the car anyway. She put in the CD she specially mixed for this road trip and, a smile cracking her features, Beca drove away from campus. She was feeling good for once, her mind clear of any Jesse thoughts. It had been a while since she'd smiled like that, and she was glad it was because of the ginger. She'd left her dorm early to ensure they could make the most out of their two days. As she drove the sun slowly rose higher and higher as the miles racked up. Higher, just like her mood as she put more distance between her and all the recent drama in her life. Beca knew she was only numbing the pain her break up caused her by running into Chloe's arms, but she was tired of feeling like this. The redhead was able to love her, and she couldn't deny there was something between them.

Chloe was in the middle of a very steamy dream with Beca when the incessant buzzing of her phone woke her up. She was ready to damn whoever it was texting her this early on a Saturday morning, she checked it. Her face lit up upon seeing who texted her; Beca, saying she was on her way. The red head looked at the receiving time and then the alarm clock beside her head. Beca sent her the text an hour ago already, meaning Chloe only had one hour left to get ready. She ran outside her bedroom and banged on Aubrey's door frantically.

"Bre! Wake up! Aubrey, quick! Beca will be here soon! I have to get ready and you have to get out of the house!" Chloe yelled through the thick door.

Her best friend soon opened and she did not look happy at all. The shorter woman dropped her fist and smiled apologetically. The blonde groaned and rolled her eyes, going back to her bedroom but leaving the door opened. Chloe automatically stepped in and started going through Aubrey's closet and throwing random pieces of clothing on her bed.

"Chloe!" her roommate snapped in a very not amused tone "Stop it, I'll get ready, Christ, you don't have to throw everything on my bed. It's not like she's going to be here in five minutes." The thought of Beca being here in five minutes made her widen her eyes and she asked, cautious "She's not going to be here in five, right?"

At last, Chloe stopped and took a deep breath. She flashed Aubrey her infamous pouty smile and said in a very tiny voice:

"No, she'll be here in like an hour…."

As she supposed, Aubrey scoffed at her and threw herself in her bed, face buried in her pillow she said:

"Well then I still have thirty minutes of sleep! Get out."

But the redhead jumped on the bed and cuddled the blonde from behind, her face resting mere centimeters away from her ear, chin on her shoulder. Aubrey stiffened but forced herself to keep her eyes shut. Chloe was smiling as she sang her best friend's name in a soft voice.

"Aubreeeey… Bre… pretty please? Get up and help me clean the house?" she asked, batting her eyelashes so hard the blonde felt a light breeze on her cheek.

"No," she stated, shrugging Chloe off her back.

The redhead was very stubborn, though, and she rolled over Aubrey and wiggled her way in front of her, earning herself another annoyed sigh. Eventually, though, she won and the blonde got up, unable to sleep anymore. The shorter woman had secret weapons Aubrey could never resist and she hated her best friend for that. She put on her yoga pants, a pink tank top and rummaged through her CD collection to find the one she was looking for. Back in the living room, a very excited Chloe was waiting for her, broom and cloth in hands. The blonde stopped in the doorway of her bedroom, and she reluctantly grabbed the cloth. Aubrey was pretty sure the noise that escaped Chloe's mouth was closer to a dying cat than an excited squeal but seeing her best friend this happy made her happy too. She couldn't help the smile that appeared on her features.

They sang to their favorite band, invented stupid dance routines and laughed so hard they fell on the ground. Through all that, they managed to get the house tidied up and Aubrey out on time for Beca's arrival. Chloe sat on the couch, relieved, and her thoughts trailed off until she was in a half-asleep state. She didn't hear the first knock, but was on her feet when the doorbell rang loud and clear. She ran to the door, smiling so hard it was already hurting. She opened the door and her face dropped when, instead of Beca, she saw a policeman. Instantly, her mind went to Aubrey and she thought the worse had happened.

"Ms Beale?" the man asked his face deadly serious.

"Yes, officer?" the tone was cautious, her heart pounding.

"Do you have a minute? There's something I'd like to discuss with you." His face still serious.

"Is everything ok? What happened? Is it Aubrey? Please, tell me it's not her!" Chloe was on the edge of tears.

The policeman was about to say something when a car pulled in the parking lot. The ginger's pulse calmed down a little when she saw Beca get out. At least, it wasn't her. Her attention was snapped back to the policeman when he spoke again.

"No, not at all, Ms Beale. There was a call early this morning, reporting a break-in, and there are some routine questions I need to ask you. Can I come in?" He took a step forward, and Chloe let him in, nodding, as relief flooded through her body.

Beca frowned when she saw the policeman at her door, and rushed to her. Chloe told her it wasn't anything big, just a break-in this morning. The three of them sat in the kitchen as the policeman asked questions, but in the middle of the meeting, his dispatcher screeched something. The man got up, thanked them for their time and left. Turned out it was the son who tried to get inside but had forgotten his keys and didn't want to wake up his parents so he broke in.

Chloe walked him out and when she came back, she collapsed on the couch next to Beca, laughing.

"I first thought he came to tell me Aubrey had been in a car crash and she was dead. I've never been so scared!" she said with another laugh.

She turned to the brunette and smiled at her, eyes glistening with happiness. Beca couldn't hold that gaze for long, though, and she tried hiding her blushing cheeks with a shy smile, but Chloe smiled even harder. The red head took her hands and entwined their fingers together, feeling a rush of heat rise to her head. Beca traced random patterns on the back of her hand with her thumb, and she looked up, hooking her steel blue eyes in Chloe's baby blues. Beca's lips slightly curled up, and Chloe mirrored her expression.

Slowly, and never breaking eye contact, they leaned in. At the last moment, their eyelids closed with perfect harmony, just as their lips met for the first time. Chloe could feel Beca's hesitation, and she moved her free hand to her face, grazing her cheek with her palm. Soon, the brunette caved in, letting her desire free. Her mouth was more demanding, her lips parted slightly, just enough for her to draw a quick breath as a shy moan escaped her throat. The kiss was soft at first, but it became more and more passionate.

Beca's mind went blank as she let herself drown in Chloe's touch; her fingers clenching at her hair, pulling her closer, her mouth hungry for hers, her body moving against hers. She had almost forgotten how it felt to be so desired, she'd forgotten how it felt to be on fire, to want another person. She'd been yearning for Chloe's presence for so long she had forgotten how it actually felt to be with her. Now, she was reminded with bright accuracy.

It was Chloe who broke their fiery kiss. She inhaled sharply, out of breath, and Beca did the same, only realizing now that she had no oxygen left in her lungs. The ginger was panting as she stroked the smaller woman's hair, smiling. Her eyes were half-closed, as if she didn't want to fully open them and realize this might just be a dream. It was real, though, and when she regained enough composure to look up and gaze into Beca's eyes, her heart was filled with love.

"Gosh, I've been wanting to do that for so long, now," she whispered as she leaned in to put her forehead against the brunette's.

Beca chuckled lightly and brought the redhead in her arms, hugging her tight and breathing in her sweet perfume that she'd missed so much.

"It's good to be with you again, Chloe. I've missed you so much." Beca said in a hushed voice.

They were just sitting on the couch and talking about the Bellas and the life on campus, when Chloe's stomach growled so furiously it silenced them both for a solid minute. An exchanged glance of shock cracked them up and it was decided they would get food before something like that happened again. They went out to grab lunch and when they came back, Aubrey was home.

Chloe smiled at her best friend and hooked her arm before dragging her to her bedroom. She closed the door, smiling at a confused Beca. The blonde held her hands in front of her as a peace offering and silenced Chloe before she could say anything, knowing the redhead wasn't too happy of her early arrival.

"Chloe, before you say anything, I'm sorry, ok? It's just that I was in the park the whole morning, then I went and had lunch and went back to the park, but I was just sitting on a bench, reading, and looking at all the kids playing, and people were starting to stare at me, like I was some weird woman getting ready to kidnap one of their kids. So I drove around for some time, but I was just really bored, and God damn it why are you laughing, Chloe?! Aren't you supposed to be mad at me or something?" the blonde finished, confused at her friend's reaction.

Chloe couldn't help but picture Aubrey trying to kidnap a child and she wasn't mad at her anymore for being so early. She made herself be serious again after a while, but couldn't bring herself to speak without snorting again. She rolled her eyes and hugged her friend, telling her it was okay, they were going to walk anyway.

The day went by in a soft haze of happiness, and when the darkness outside prevented them to see each other as they were sitting on Chloe's bed, just talking, they didn't bother to switch a light on. They didn't need light to know where the other was, and the absence of sight made all of their touches feel more real, more intense. When they didn't have anything else to talk about, it was almost ten pm. A soft knock at the door stirred them out of their silence and Chloe told Aubrey to come in.

"Jesus, it's so dark in here. Anyway, care to join me to watch a movie?" she asked, a hopeful smile stretching her lips.

Beca half-scoffed, but agreed anyway and they went out. Aubrey was already in her pajamas, wearing a pair of pink shorts and a black t-shirt and the girls could smell popcorn from the bed. All of a sudden, doubt flooded Beca's mind. _Do I have my pj?_ She asked herself, trying to remember herself putting her sweatpants and her baggy shirt in her bag. Chloe had lit up her bedroom and was now pulling out her own pajamas, which made Beca smirk. When she started to take off her shirt, though, Beca quickly covered her eyes and that made Chloe laugh out loud.

"What are you doing, Beca?" she asked, sounding closer than before.

The brunette slowly put her hand down just to stare at a very close half-naked grinning Chloe. Beca gulped audibly and tried to say something but Aubrey's voice came from the living room, telling them to hurry up because there wouldn't be any popcorn left. The red head winked in a very suggestive way and the shorter woman felt heat radiating on her face. She turned to her bag and started rummaging through it, but couldn't find her clothes. She looked at Chloe's pjs again and squealed. They were a matching pajamas with little sleeping sheeps all over, and it was pink. Not the baby pink you know, or the dark pink you might imagine, it was a fluorescent pink, phosphorescent pink even. Beca was sure that if they were in the dark the pjs would glow. It was _that_ bright pink color.

She had no other choice but ask the ginger, though, because she couldn't simply take off her jeans and shirt and strut around in her underwear. _Chloe would love that too much_, she thought to herself and instantly blushed again. Seeing Beca's expression change so quickly, Chloe was worried and she asked what was wrong.

"I, uh… forgot my pj." She said under her breath.

A thought Beca could've said out loud passed in the red head's eyes, but she didn't say anything. Instead, she dug in her drawers and got another set of pajamas out. Beca looked at it for a minute, shocked that she could even suggest it, and then blinked at Chloe.

"No" she simply said, frowning.

"It's either this one or Winnie the Pooh," Chloe said matter-of-factly.

"You _have_ to be kidding, Chloe. There's no way I'm wearing this in front of Aubrey. She'll make fun of me." Beca whined.

"Hey! I wear it all the time, and she never laughs at me." Chloe shot back a little hurt.

"Yeah, because it's you. If I come out wearing this, she'll never let me forget it."

Chloe lifted her shoulders, throwing the pj on the bed, and walked out. Beca picked it up, and sighed heavily. _This can't be happening_, she thought to herself. The pants were powder blue, with teddy bears hugging a red heart all over and the t-shirt was white with the same teddy bear, except three times bigger. The caption said "I will never let go of your heart".

Ten minutes later, a very red in the face Beca walked out of the bedroom and tried to hide what she was wearing, but both Aubrey and Chloe stopped in the middle of their small talk to look at her. The red head's face instantly lit up and a mischievous spark appeared in her eye. Aubrey tried to hide a very amused smirk too, but could only do so for five seconds before snorting really loudly.

"Oh. My. God. Beca. You look so _adorable_!" the ginger shrieked before jumping on her feet to hug her.

Beca glared at Aubrey, who couldn't help but cackle every time she looked at her. She settled down at the far end of the couch, and it didn't take a minute before Chloe was cuddling her. The brunette felt a little awkward at first, with Aubrey by their sides, but it felt so natural to have the older woman next to her, head resting on her shoulder, that the feeling went away quickly.


	9. Chapter 9

"What are you looking for?" Benji asked as he watched Jesse throw every DVDs of his collection on his bed.

"A movie." The man answered, still frantically searching.

"No kidding. What movie, Jesse?" he specified, reaching over to grab some of the boxes.

"Jaws." Jesse simply replied without looking up. "Shit" he added a second after.

"What?" now Benji was back on his bed and he sat up straight, confusion painted on his face.

"I left it at Beca's." it was all Jesse had to say for the younger sophomore to understand.

It had been almost four months since he had spoken to, or even seen the girl, and he had finally managed to get her completely out of his mind. The thought of having to be face to her was bringing memories he wasn't yet ready to remember. He hated to admit that she'd had a bigger effect on him than he said she had. She'd been more than just a crush, more than just another girlfriend, but he was over her now. He wasn't bitter anymore, but he didn't know how things would go when he knocked at her door.

He decided he'd give her a call before going, to let her know he was coming. Jesse stared at his phone when he pressed the speed dial for her number; he thought he'd deleted it. It was like putting on an old glove; it felt good yet disturbing. Benji gave him two thumbs up and smiled brightly to encourage him. Ear pressed to his cellphone, Jesse heard the first ring and felt his heart race up a bit.

Sprawled on Chloe's bed, Beca was waiting for her girlfriend to come out of the shower when her phone rang. She was slowly dozing off and the buzzing startled her. She didn't check her caller ID and answered right away with a light tone.

"Hello?" She was met with a second of silence on the other end of the line, but when the other person spoke, she was immediately brought back to a few months ago.

"Hey Beca, it's Jesse" the man stated in a voice he was trying to control.

"Oh," was all the brunette could say. She nervously eyed the door to the bathroom and got up. She swiftly flew through the living room where Aubrey was reading. The blonde shot her head up and frowned when she saw Beca, who didn't stop. The DJ motioned to her phone and went outside.

"Hey." She said once she was alone, her voice uncertain.

"I thought I'd give you a heads-up. Is it ok if I come by later today? I think I left my Jaws DVD at your place." He asked, careful. Beca debated with herself on what to answer to this, and she settled with the truth; she figured she'd have to tell him anyway at some point.

"I, uhm, I'm at Chloe's until tomorrow night. Can I look for it and as soon as I find it, I'll give you a call?" she tried to play it cool, act like it was no big deal, but Jesse caught her cautious tone and was frowning.

"At Chloe's?" Beca was getting nervous and she feared her girlfriend would come out anytime now, but she found the curiosity in Jesse's voice to be flattering. He still cared, after all.

"Yeah, uh… We're… uh, together, I guess." She dropped, preparing herself for his reaction.

"Oh cool." He said simply, measuring his tone very warily; he didn't want her to know just what it did to him.

"That's it?" She was shocked by his reaction, and the words escaped her. "No, I'm sorry Jesse, that's not what I meant. Ok, I got to go now. I'll call you tomorrow, ok?"

They said goodbye and Beca ended the call. She took a minute to get herself together; the call had left her feeling strange, and she didn't know why. When she went back inside, Chloe was out of the shower and Aubrey didn't say anything, thinking it'd been a professional call. The three of them had planned a girl's night out and, to Beca's surprise, she was excited about it. Hanging out with the tall blonde every week-end had made her change her mind about her; when she wasn't at their place, she didn't miss her because of her bossiness anymore, but she missed her because she was funny and fun to be around.

Once she was back at Barden, Beca did as she promised and found Jesse's movie. She waited until she felt sure enough ― sure about what she had no idea ― to call him. He was at her door minutes later because this year they were in the same building, which made it a miracle they hadn't bumped into each other these past months. Something made a flip inside her when she saw his face, and she felt slightly uncomfortable. She handed him his movie, but even after he took it from her hands, they didn't move.

She was about to close the door, unable to stand watching him and feeling like this; like she was missing something, like something was wrong, like he was supposed to kiss her. He stopped her door with his hands and asked quickly:

"Beca, did you love me?"

She was shocked at his question, but when she went to answer assuredly her mouth opened but no sound came out. He shook his head and when he looked up, hurt was back in his dark eyes.

"Never mind. Do you love _her_?" he asked, his voice shaking a little.

"Of course I do! And I love you Jesse," she blurted out, only realizing now she used the present tense.

Jesse's face went blank from shock but Beca quickly corrected herself.

"Loved you. I have homework now." And she closed the door in a hurry.

She leaned on it for a minute, eyes shut, trying to process what she just told him. No, she was in love with Chloe; it didn't make any sense what she said. He caught her off guard with his questions, it was none of his business anymore anyway; he had walked away from her. She felt anger rise in her, and she knew this wasn't going to solve her problems, but it was easier to be mad at him than to face what really happened. She really had homework to do, though, and she buried herself in it for the rest of the night, trying to get out of her mind their encounter.

The week went by without any other incident, but when Friday finally rolled around, Beca wasn't as thrilled as usual when she packed her bags. Her dad had given her his previous car in an attempt at bribing her into yet another family dinner, so she didn't have to ask for his car anymore. She made sure, like every week since the first that she had her pajamas and closed her dorm room behind her. Beca couldn't stop thinking about Jesse though, and she almost crashed into another car being so distracted.

For the past few months, she'd made sure she wasn't thinking about him without being really angry, not wanting to feel anything for him but anger and deception. Truth was she missed him, and seeing his face at her door awoke a trail of thoughts she had forgotten about. What if, that day when he walked out, she'd said something instead of just watching him leave? She was still toying with the answers to that question when she pulled into Chloe and Aubrey's parking lot.

The red head waved at her from the bay window and Beca smiled, happy to be released from her torments. When she was with Chloe, she found it hard to be sad or even remotely down, because the older woman was just so bubbly and easy-going it was impossible for Beca to be anything less than content. When she hugged her tight, whispering "I missed you so much" in the crook of her neck, the brunette felt love rush through her whole body and her worries were kicked to the back of her mind.

It wasn't until they went to bed that night that they came back. They'd spent their evening trying to play Mario Kart. Trying was the key word, because it ended up with Aubrey and Beca shoving each other with their controllers in hand like their bodies were the karts as they were fighting for first place. Chloe was a peaceful third place and hitting all the walls. When the trio's friendship was at stake, they stopped the game and settled for a Guitar Hero show, with Aubrey at the mic, Chloe on the guitar and Beca on the drums. They rocked the house and it was late in the evening when, slowly dying of laughter and short on candies, they said goodnight.

For once, Beca didn't have to push Chloe away as they kissed, because the ginger was too tired to try to get more out of her girlfriend. It was frustrating for her, though, because it'd been almost a month now that they've been together, but not once did she get Beca to actually make the step. They'd kiss, and as soon as she'd push a little, trying to unhook her bra, the brunette would stop her and chuckle nervously. The first time, Chloe apologized and promised to not stress her with that, but it always seemed like what Beca wanted; she never pulled out of their steamy kisses, she'd even take off Chloe's shirt off, but whenever the redhead wanted to do the same, she was asked to stop. Tonight, she was too tired from her day and evening to ask for more, and she fell asleep in Beca's arms.

The brunette remembered all of a sudden how it was to fall asleep in Jesse's arms, how she'd usually end up on top of him in the middle of the night, never having enough of his presence. With Chloe, she'd always wiggle out of her grip in her sleep, ending up on the edge of the bed, her back turned to her girlfriend. She remembered how it was to kiss his lips, how butterflies would explode in her stomach. Before she could clearly think about it, she found herself comparing everything her ex-boyfriend did and how she felt about the things Chloe did and how she felt about them. A silent scream made her gasp, and she covered her mouth as tears spilled out.

Chloe was lying next to her, sound asleep, her breath deep and even, and she cried for a long moment, unable to stop her thoughts. When the older woman kissed her it was easy, it was sweet, but there was no fire, there wasn't that spark there like there was with Jesse. She missed the redhead when she was away, but nothing like she missed Jesse when he walked away. Thinking about it for most of the night, Beca had come to a terrifying truth. The next morning, peppered kisses woke her up and she thought it had only been a dream until the moment she felt her damp pillow stick to her face. Her eyes were still red from the tears she cried, knowing what she had to do.

Her girlfriend's smile was so happy it made Beca tear up again and she fiercely kissed her, trying to force passion in her body. Nothing sparked up but surprise in Chloe's eyes and the brunette broke the kiss, sighing.

"Well, good morning to you to, honey." She said with a grin. "To what do I owe this sudden burst of love so early?" her tone was playful, but when Beca didn't answer, she frowned and asked, concerned "Beca? What's wrong?"

The brunette shrugged and her gaze drifted away, unable to look into Chloe's face any longer. Instantly worried, her girlfriend lifted her chin up and Beca felt terrible, seeing all the love the ginger had for her right at that moment.

"Beca, baby, what happened?" now she was getting more worried by the minute as the other woman didn't say anything. "Beca, please, for the love of me, say something, you're scaring me now!"

"I… Jesse came by my dorm last week." It was all she managed to say, and it was nothing more than a whisper.

Confused, Chloe frowned, but automatically assumed the worse. "What happened? Did he hurt you? I swear if he did, Beca, I'll hunt him down." She was serious as could be, but Beca simply shook her head.

"No, Chloe, it wasn't him. It was me." Getting more and more confused with this conversation, Chloe pulled away from Beca, sitting in the bed while she was previously cuddling her from behind.

"Beca, tell me. What happened?"

"Nothing happened. It's just… I think that…" Her throat was sore from all the silent screams she cried last night, and a lumped made her choke on her words.

Chloe gave her hand a gentle squeeze, encouraging her to continue. Taking a deep breath, Beca said in a hoarse voice; "Chloe, I've made a mistake."


	10. Chapter 10

"What do you mean, a mistake, Beca?" Chloe's voice was shaking and her hands were damped with stress.

The brunette sighed but didn't reply. What if she was wrong, what if it was just the memories speaking right now? What if Beca was really in love with Chloe and it'd only been a bad night yesterday? The mere fact that she was asking herself those questions made the answer clear though, and she buried her face in her pillow, unable to speak. The red head shook her by the shoulder; she couldn't stand the pain rising in her chest, the throbbing in her heart; the fear shattering her Saturday morning.

"Beca, for God's sake, talk to me! You can't just say something like that and refuse to talk about it after! Tell me, Beca!" now Chloe was half shouting, and from the other side of the closed door, Aubrey looked up from her newspaper, frowning.

"I meant you, us. I made a mistake running into your arms like that, Chloe." Beca finally said finally, her voice barely audible.

Suddenly, the contact of her palm with her girlfriend's skin burned like an open flame. She jerked it away and stared at Beca's back, her eyes dry. Shock then pure hurt degraded her features as she slowly pulled away from the brunette and stood up. Beca was on her feet seconds later and she wanted to go after the red head, but Chloe lifted her hands up and glared at her. She was fuming now and was trying to breathe, feeling her chest being crushed with every gulp of air she was taking.

"Stay. Away." She in more menacing a tone than Beca ever thought she could conjure.

The shorter woman obeyed, scared now that the ginger wasn't saying anything. She'd hope for something different, like shouting or tears, but now she was thinking this was way worse because she couldn't actually tell what was going on in Chloe's mind. Once again, she tried a step forward and Chloe strangled out a howl of pain which made Beca freeze.

Aubrey had walked to her best friend's door, about to knock on it because she was getting worried at the bits she was getting. Something was going on in there and she couldn't take it anymore. When she was about to hit the door, though, the screaming silence she heard on the other side stopped her. Seconds later, Chloe was opening the door, tears streaming down her face, and she stormed passed the blonde without a look. Beca followed her, and all Aubrey could see was a mess of brown and red hair when she reached Chloe.

"Chloe! Stop! Listen to me, please!" Beca pleaded with a fierce tone.

"No, Beca, I won't! You lied to me! The whole time, you strung me along! How am I supposed to believe anything you'll say after that? Uh? Tell me!" now Chloe was screeching, jerking her wrist away from Beca's grip and rushing into the bathroom.

Aubrey was standing very still, confusion and shock distorting her features as she slowly grasped what was going on. Beca banged on the door, but Chloe yelled at her to go away. The brunette was persistent though, and she talked through the wood, her voice high-pitched and strained with emotion.

"Chloe, I love you, don't ever think otherwise. I do, I really do. I just came to the realization that I am not _in love _with you. I'm so sorry Chloe, I didn't mean to hurt you like this, if I'd known how things would go, I wouldn't have taken a chance with us. Chloe, please, open the door so we can talk… Chloe, I need you." Her voice was merely a whisper now as she collapsed to the ground, sobs raking through her.

The door opened suddenly and Beca shot back on her feet, she hesitated for a split second, carefully eyeing Chloe's body language before stepping forward. The ginger was clenching her teeth so hard, and she wanted to hate Beca right at this moment, but she couldn't. Even if the brunette wasn't in love with her, Chloe was, and that mattered. Her insides were telling her to push her away; her heart was yelling at her, screeching in pain as she opened her arms for the smaller woman to snuggle in.

"I know Beca, I know. I'm sorry too, it's okay." Chloe said in a soothing voice, looking over Beca's head toward Aubrey who was still standing near her bedroom door.

The hurt in her best friend's eyes made the blonde flinch and she looked away, her shoulders hunched. Aubrey silently walked back to her room and closed the door after giving Chloe one last look, making sure she was okay to handle this. Mixed feelings where boiling in her mind ; she was in a fury that Beca could do that to her best friend, but over the last month, she'd grew fond of the small brunette and she felt her pain too. Sitting on her bed, Aubrey sighed and plugged her headphones to shut out any bits of conversation she might get from the living room.

Beca held on to Chloe's body like an anchor and the taller woman sat them on the couch cautiously. She unhooked the younger girl's arms from around her waist but kept her hands in hers afterward. Chloe was on the edge of tears, seeing Beca hurt so much from not loving her, and if she could, she'd make her own love of her go away, just to make this easier for the other woman. That's how much she loved her, and she seriously hated herself for this right now, because she had feelings too. Chloe Beale had never put herself first, though, and it was certainly not in a situation like this one that she'd get started. Slowly, Beca's breath got less frantic, and she was able to speak. Her voice was tense and she couldn't look Chloe in the eyes.

"When Jesse came by to get his movie back, all the memories came flooding back in my mind. I remembered how good I felt when I was with him, how bad I longed for his touch when he wasn't around. I didn't do anything to stop him from walking away, Chloe. I simply stood there, watching as he left for good this time. I was a mess after you told me you loved me, because I didn't know what to think about it. Doubt was keeping me awake and I was torn. Chloe, I never had friends like you, who just barged in my life demanding my attention and care. But you did it, and I grew attached to you like I've never been to anybody before. I… I messed up, I know, but when he dumped me, I couldn't go back to where I was before I met you two. I was nothing but walls and loneliness, Chloe. You were the one who listened to all my rambling, the one who was always so supportive. Jesse, he tried, he tried really hard, but I didn't make things easy for him, because at the time I took him for granted. I regret that, really, there's not a day that I don't. "

Chloe's chest was aching, her heart was pounding in her head; she didn't want to hear all of this. She wanted Beca to go away as quickly as possible. No, she wanted this whole morning to be a dream. Yes, that's what she wanted. Still, she didn't say anything; she even smiled a little reassuring smile and stroked her forearm to encourage her to continue. She knew how hard it was for her to open up, and she needed the truth about this whole situation, even if it wasn't what she wanted to hear.

"When you called me on my birthday, I was hurting, trying to blame him for everything, trying to get him out of my mind. I was always missing him, thinking he'd been the only one to actually cope with all my shit. But then you called and it hit me: you were there, too. I've never felt so much love for somebody as I do for you, and that's why I confused it with being in love with you. And… I hate myself for this, but… being with you is easy. You just get along with any mood I'm in, being with you feels good…just…."

"Just not the same good as with Jesse." Chloe finished, shocked at own ability to speak with a lump this big in her throat.

Beca nodded simply and the ginger offered her another comforting smile. She was glad, in some ways, that Beca had told her all this before things were more serious. She could see it all now, looking back; how Beca would always slump in her hugs, letting go of everything that was keeping her awake during the week, why she wasn't able to let her touch her; everything was crystal clear. And it hurt. A lot. There was a loud silence between them and it took all of Beca's strength to get up from the couch; to let go of Chloe's hands. She was afraid she'd never get her friend back; afraid she'd go back to being the lonely mess she was when Jesse left.

"Beca," she whispered as the brunette walked to the bedroom to pack her bags. "You need to talk to him."

It took everything Chloe had in her not to fall apart saying this, and when she met the shorter woman's surprised gaze, she smiled, tears sparkling in her eyes. Beca nodded, unable to say something and quickly grabbed her clothes scattered on the floor. When she came out again, she eyed Aubrey's door, but decided against it. The sophomore felt like a horrible person, doing this to Chloe, and she knew they'd never go back to how things were before, but she had hurt enough people she deeply cared for, and she knew she had to do something.

"I hope you'll forgive me Chloe, because I don't think I could survive without you in my life anymore." Beca said, stroking her fire red hair as she passed by her on her way to the door.


	11. Chapter 11

Aubrey heard the front door open and seconds later the roar of Beca's car. She waited for a minute or so before coming out of her room. Her heart flinched when she saw her best friend, shoulders hunched, head down, hands to her face. She looked so _vulnerable_ it made Aubrey tear up and she rushed to her with a strangled cry stuck in her throat.

"Chloe…" she said simply, and it was all it took for the redhead to fall apart.

She threw herself into her best friend's open arms, burying her wet features in the crook of her neck. Aubrey winced at the impact, but she wrapped Chloe in a tight hug, feeling like this was the only thing still holding her together. She felt the violent sobs tear through her shoulders, heard her muffled cries in her t-shirt, and her heart broke just a little more. She'd never seen Chloe so devastated by something, she knew the ginger to be a fighter, a survivor, but fear crept into the back of her mind and Aubrey held on just a little tighter to her; _what if, this time, she couldn't get over this heartbreak?_

It took a full hour for Chloe to regain enough self-control over her tears to be able to tell Aubrey what happened, but saying the words "Beca left me" was hurting too much and every time she tried, the lump in her throat grew just a little and she was struggling to catch her breath. Sitting next to her, her hands stroking gentle circles on her back, the blonde was holding back a heave of tears each time Chloe tried to say it out loud. She told her she didn't have to explain right now, but her friend was a talker, she needed to talk about the things happening to her, pulling her in her arms and stroking her hair now. Eventually, the tension in Chloe's body eased a little, and she was so tired she simply fell asleep in Aubrey's arms, tears still streaming down her cheeks.

Feeling completely powerless, Aubrey clenched her teeth when she felt the ginger's head get heavier on her shoulder. She wished she could just take away all the pain that was draining her energy like that, she wanted to take it all on her, because she knew she could survive this, she'd been through so much, but she feared for her best friend; feared Beca was something more than a massive crush; something more important; something she could never get back. The blonde felt her stomach twist in pain for Chloe and she winced a little. Aubrey had to move, she had to do something, she couldn't stand to stay here and watch Chloe sleep, there was something unhealthy about the way she looked at her, her features suddenly peaceful with sleep; her distorted mouth now slightly open, her eyes full of pain now gently closed; her eyelids fluttering with what she supposed were dreams.

With very cautious moves, Aubrey got up from the couch, laying Chloe down and tucking her in with the blanket on the back of the sofa. Wiping a strand of hair out of her face, the tall woman squatted beside her and smiled shyly; even when she was sleeping like a grown-up baby; hands close to her face, lips plucking out involuntarily, Chloe was the most beautiful woman she'd ever seen. Aubrey had no doubt she'd find somebody else, someday, what she was worried about was the redhead letting herself love again. Sighing, she chased those thoughts from her mind and left a note saying she was gone grocery shopping.

When she woke up, hours later, Chloe was bathing in a sweet ray of sun, her face hot from it, dry saliva at the corner of her mouth. She panicked, at first, being alone on the couch when the last thing she remembered was being in bed with Beca, but memory came flooding back and she curled up in a ball, feeling this hole in her chest reopening. She didn't know what time it was, but she knew one thing: she was alone. Gathering enough will power to get up, she wandered around the living room, ending up in the kitchen. She saw Aubrey's note and wished for the blonde to get back soon. Just as she thought that, she heard a key rattle in the door and the first thing she thought was; Beca has come back, she didn't mean what she said. She wanted to kick herself so hard for thinking this, but her lips curled up in a small happy smile when she saw Aubrey come in.

They spent the rest of the day eating ice cream ― Aubrey had bought a bunch of different flavors, having guessed Chloe would need this ― and watching horror movies. Anything to take the redhead's mind off of her empty bed and cold bedroom. That night, Aubrey went in for her and picked out a set of pajamas. Chloe didn't even have to ask; the blonde took her hand and led her to her bedroom. It felt like when they had sleepovers as little girls and they'd sleep in the same bed just because it felt better than sleeping alone. It was the same, Chloe thought to herself as she pressed her body against Aubrey's back. The blonde turned around, opening her arms once again, and the shorter woman snuggled close, feeling tears burn behind her eyelids.

"It's okay Chloe, you're safe here." Aubrey murmured in a soft voice.

The redhead nodded and let the tears fall down, focusing on Aubrey's heartbeat pumping in her ear to not completely lose herself in the raging fire of pain ripping her chest apart. They fell asleep crying, both of them, and never let go of each other's bodies during the night, always a hand holding the other's or an arm slipped at the waist or around the shoulders. They needed each other more than they could think that night, and they were there for each other; as always.

A week. That's how long it took for Chloe to go back to her bedroom, to even get inside and get her clothes. She'd still sneak in Aubrey's bedroom in the middle of the night though, when the nightmares and her pain were too much to handle. She'd cuddle with the blonde, feeling instantly safe and better.

A month. That's how long it took for Aubrey to break up with her boss, whom she was dating for a little over four months now, because things were getting complicated at work and she didn't want to ruin her chances. He understood, but that didn't ease the pain she was feeling. That night, it was her who held on tight to Chloe's body as tear raked her being.

Three months. That's how long it took for Chloe to forgive Beca enough to be able to tell Aubrey what happened. They were sitting on the couch, watching the news and eating when Chloe simply said "I'm ready." Aubrey shut off the TV and turned to face her friend, a reassuring smile on her face.

A day. That's how long it took to turn everything upside down.

Aubrey came back from work that day feeling even more tired than usual. She slumped on the couch, massaging her left shoulder, and Chloe was behind her instantly to take over. While grunting in pain and relief, Aubrey told her about the trial and how her boss was being a jerk to her, but she stopped dead in her speech when she felt Chloe's lips on her neck, a surge of mixed emotion rushing through her body. Her mouth hanging open, Aubrey did nothing to stop her and a small moan escaped her lips when Chloe made her way up, leaving a burning sensation on the blonde's skin as she did.

"What are you doing?" she asked in a hoarse voice that surprised her.

"Something I should've done long ago." She simply replied before lifting Aubrey's chin and kissing her ever so gently.

The taller woman couldn't resist any longer; she leaned into the kiss, offering Chloe all of what she had. It didn't take more for the redhead to let go of everything surrounding her, putting all of her heart into this one kiss. They broke apart for air and realized what just happened. Aubrey got on her feet, looking shocked, but Chloe was only smiling her bright and toothy smile, the one she hadn't felt like giving for a long time.

"I'm not sorry Aubrey. And I know you aren't either. When we moved here, and Beca wasn't always around to remind me of my feelings for her, I started noticing you. I know it sounds bad the way I say it, but it's true. Remember that dress I bought for you? The night of your date? I didn't do anything all evening, just waiting for you. I was half hoping it would go bad, because I couldn't help but want you to put that dress on for _me_. I'm sorry it took me so long to realise this, but now I do. Please, tell me I didn't dream about everything, tell me that what I'm saying now makes sense to you too, because… because I couldn't stand to fall for you if you're not falling for me too." Chloe said, her voice a little shaky but her eyes serious as could be.

"No…" she started, feeling dizzy from all this, but she regained composure quickly and she smiled brightly at the redhead. "No, Chloe, you didn't dream all this. There is something. There's been something for a while, but I didn't want to push you into anything, so I just sat back, waiting for you. You can't imagine how hard I tried to not think about you like that, because I knew you were in love with Beca. I never thought you could be in love with me too."

They smiled at each other, feeling like teenagers confessing feelings for each other. Chloe walked over and stood in front of Aubrey, still smiling from ear to ear. The blonde put her hands on the smaller woman's hips, her eyes glistening with happy tears. Their lips met for the second time; it was powerful, nothing compared to their first; this one was exuding with everything they ever wanted to tell each other but never did; every moment they'd side glance at each other; every time they'd smile at each other with more than friendship in their eyes; every missed opportunity to say "I love you"; all in that one kiss that lasted until both of them couldn't hold their breath any longer.


	12. Chapter 12

"Shit!" Jesse cursed underneath his breath, jumping out of bed. He stumbled across Benji's deskchair, waking the younger man up too.

"Jesse?" he asked, his voice still full of sleep.

"Go back to sleep Benji, I'm late for class, that's all." Jesse said, pulling up a random pair of pants and looking frantically for a shirt. He grabbed the first thing he saw, smelled it and was in the middle of his movment when Benji remembered something and decided now was a good time to tell his roommate.

"Beca called, forgot to tell you yesterday." he mumbled, going back to sleep.

Instantly, Jesse froze. He wasn't sure he heard right, and his insides were burning with curiosity ― and fear too ― but as he looked at his alarm clock, he groaned and told a very asleep Benji he was going to explain that later today. The sophomore ran outside his dorm, jumped almost all the stairs and was about to cross the yard to get to his building when he collided with another person. He heard a pained groan and was knocked back for a few seconds before he could see clearly again.

"What the fuck is wrong with you can't you look where you're ― oh." A familiar voice said in a rather angry tone.

Jesse's mind immediately shot back into reality and looked down to see Beca holding a hand on her forehead. He was about to ask if she was okay when she asked him: "Why were you running like that? Is there a fire?"

He knew he should've told her he had a class to attend, but instead, his eyes fell on her face, the dark circles under her eyes not all covered by her make-up, her beautiful eyes looking away, her full lips. He kicked himself mentally; he was over her. She didn't make this easier though because she looked so… vulnerable, as she finally looked him in the eye. She was about to say something sarcastic when he didn't answer, and Jesse didn't want that, he wanted to know what happened for her to be so broken, so he cut her off.

"Nothing. You want coffee?" he asked, an attempted smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Beca debated the idea internally, but he didn't give her a choice. He gently grabbed her wrist and she flinched at the contact, remembering just too well how it felt to hold hands with him. It took all her self-control not to slip her hand in his and entwine their fingers. Jesse momentarily closed his eyes when he turned his back on her, starting to walk toward the campus diner; he should've told her he was late for class; should've told her to get lost. He should've done anything but ask her to get coffee, because he wasn't over her, and he knew he'd be in a miserable state after that coffee. Jesse couldn't help it though; he cared too much for her to let his pride get in the way.

They settled down with their mugs, silent, both feeling the awkwardness now that the moment of confusion had passed. Taking a deep breath, Beca spoke first, and what she said confirmed to Jesse he'd be miserable once this would be over.

"Jesse…I can't do this anymore. It's just too hard. I don't know what happened, well ok yeah, I know what happened. And I think I owe you some explanations. Maybe, after you get to know what happened, maybe you… you know, maybe we could… Try again?" her voice was shaky but hope was filling her steel blue eyes.

"Beca…" he started, but she took his hand and smiled shyly ― nothing like the Beca he was used to, and it broke his heart knowing the ending of this conversation.

"Just... Listen, ok? That's all I'm asking for now. We'll talk later, please?" there was something in her voice, a silent plea in her eyes, that made Jesse close his eyes and sigh, but he nodded and she went on.

"The night of the party, Chloe told me she loved me. Not in the friends way, though, and it messed me up, because before I realized I was falling for you, I wasn't sure if the feelings I had for her were only friendship too. This confession brought back all the memories, and I've never felt like that for anybody else, even you, and I didn't know what that feeling was exactly. I panicked, and lashed it all out on you. I know, it was wrong, and I can't even tell you how sorry I am for all that I've put you through. The night you walked out of my life, pride was holding me back, and a month later, when my birthday came and you didn't call but Chloe did, I lost it. I let myself believe I was in love with her because it was easier, less painful. It was selfish, I know, and I regret it, but it happened. When you came to get your movie back a week ago, it nearly killed me to know that it was my fault you weren't kissing me goodbye, my fault that you weren't smiling so happily when I opened the door, my fault you weren't asking if I watched that movie. All of it was my fault and I realized that I went to Chloe because I couldn't stand not having you; being alone was impossible after you left me, I was a complete mess, Jesse, because if I could've let you in my mind for just a minute that night, you would've seen just how sorry I was, how much I wanted to let you in. I've pushed it too far, and I felt sick about this because you're the best that's happened to me in a long, long time. Jesse, I want you back, I want us back. I love you."

Tears were silently falling down her cheeks, and Jesse couldn't look her in the face. His eyes were wet too, but he wiped them off quickly, feeling strangely very calm even though there was a storm of mixed feelings raging inside his mind. He wanted to jump over the table and kiss her and tell her everything would be alright, but he knew it wasn't. They were broken, and even if he loved her enough to give her another chance, he didn't want to risk his love being tainted if things couldn't work out. Maybe they'd be happy for a couple months; maybe they'd be happy for a couple of years, but that night when he walked out on her, he meant what he said: it was over. No, his heart wasn't over her, but his self-respect and right to be happy were. He let go of her hand and Beca felt empty, knowing too well what was coming.

She couldn't stand to hear him reject her, not again, and so she got up and tried to leave. Jesse grabbed her hand though, and he tugged at her arm, pleading for her to stay, to hear him out. Her heart was bleeding already, but she knew he was right, knew he deserved for her to listen to him; this one last time.

"Beca, I can't do that. I've loved you with all my heart and you stomped on it like it was nothing. I don't know why, but I still love you. I really do, but I can't let you in again. You've pushed me away one too many times, and that can never be fixed. Beca!" he pleaded as she jerked her hand away and started to head for the door, walking fast.

He rushed to her, blocking her way, and was met with an angry glare.

"How can you say you love me but can't give me another chance? What does that even mean? That you're giving up on me, on us?" she spat, trying to hold back the tears, looking sideways because she couldn't stand to take the hurt in his eyes.

"No, Beca, I'm not giving up on you or on us. I'm letting go. What we had was great the moment we had it, but the moment has passed. Too much happened in the last months for us to be together again without being forever broken. It's not your fault; it's just how life works. Sometimes, you can't do what your heart wants because your reason knows it'll leave you in bits and pieces. I'm letting go of you, Beca, because I've moved on."

There, he said it. He wasn't over her, but he had moved on; he was ready for something else, even if it hurt him to see her like that. She nodded, knowing he was right, once again, and put her arms around his waist, pressing her face against his chest, listening to his heart racing one last time. He wrapped her tiny self in a tight hug, breathing in her sweet perfume, knowing this was probably the last time he'd get to do that. She let go after a moment, but it didn't feel enough, so she got on her toes and kissed him lightly. He held on to her hips, leaning in the kiss, and pressed his forehead against her.

"Goodbye Beca" he whispered as she closed her eyes.

He turned around and left, fighting against all of his will not to look back.

A week. That's how long it took for Jesse to know Beca was gone. His heart sank, knowing she left because she couldn't stand being this close to him and not being able to love him like she was longing to.

A month. That's how long it took for him to get back to his normal life, having put Beca deep in the back of his mind. He was slowly recovering from all this and started to feel good, really good, in a very long time.

Five months. That's how long it took for him to completely forget about all this and to really move on. He met a nice girl, and he took things slow with her. They were happy, almost in love, and Jesse felt great.

A day. That's all it took for him to realize that, maybe, he made a mistake, but that it was too late for real now.

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**A/N : So this is the last chapter guys! I hope you really enjoyed the story, because I enjoyed writing it! Give me feedback on the whole fic :)**


	13. Epilogue : That's How You Know

_Jesse,_

_When you'll be reading this, I'll be gone. Far. I don't know where, but I know I'll try to put as much distance between us as possible. Living on a daily basis so close to you is just too much for me. I thought I was going to be happy, I thought I was doing the right thing by breaking things off with Chloe. I thought, yes, that you'd take me back that easily. I am tired of fighting with everybody, tired of putting so much effort into relationships that never work out. There's a reason I had walls, there's a reason I didn't want anybody to break them down._

_Now that they're all gone, that I put them down myself that day just for you, I feel too exposed. I need to sort things out, to sort me out, and I know I can't do that if you're constantly burning the back of my mind. I love you like I've never loved before, like I never thought I could love. I was so fucking afraid; Jesse, but you showed me that fears can be great if you don't let them rule you. I let my fear of being alone destroy the one friendship I cherished the most, and I let my fear of letting people in take away the best thing in my life since music._

_I told Kimmy Jin to give you this letter a week after I was gone, because I know then that I'll be untraceable. And that's how I want it. You'll get over me, you'll find somebody else, and even if it hurts like hell to say this, I wish you the best. Because you deserve it. You're an incredible man, and the girl who'll get you will be the luckiest. I wish I had realized this earlier._

_I'm sitting here, at my desk, just crying because I don't know if I can ever get over this. I know that right now I'm overwhelmed by all this, but that's basically why I'm taking off. This might seem like I'm running away from you, or from all of this, and it kind of is, but it's more about doing what feels right. And what feels right is not staying here, destroying myself going over and over what happened and how things could've been different if it weren't for me._

_You said sometimes you can't do what your heart wants because your reason knows it'll break you into bits and pieces. This is exactly that. My heart is yelling at me to stay right here, to try to win you back over time, but my head tells me no. I know it's over, and I'm just so fucking tired of fighting this._

_I don't know how long I'll be gone, could be a month or a year, I don't know. I'm just asking of you to not try to contact me or my father, don't try to know where I am. And in exchange, I promise I'll forget you and move on too. I promise I'll stay alive._

_I love you, and there's a part of me that will always love you. I just hope one day it won't be the bigger part._

_Goodbye, Jesse._

_Beca_

She looked at her dad, who was standing just outside the gates, and smiled. When she'd called him late yesterday night, telling him she needed to fly out of the country, he didn't ask questions, he said "Ok, baby, but promise me you'll be safe." And she agreed to that. He drove her to the airport the next morning and there she was; a backpack thrown on her shoulder, fear in her eyes. On the drive here she'd told him everything that had happened, and she asked him if what she was doing was right. He replied that if she felt like going away for an undetermined period of time, then that was the right thing to do. He was proud of her, proud of how much she'd grown since she got into Barden.

He saw how much change had affected her though, and was bittersweet about all this, because he was very protective of his only child, his daughter, and felt responsible for her happiness even if he'd lost that right years ago. Waving slowly as he watched her disappear into the mass of people, he shed a single tear, holding on to the promise she'd write every week no matter where she was and call at least once a week too. Beca had picked Italy as a first choice, because Chloe had told her about how beautiful it was. Her decision was made even before she could think of the implications of this choice, and when the plane flew away, the more distance it put between her and Jesse and Chloe, the better she felt, feeling her body ease in the seat.

_A year later_

"Dad?" said Beca, her voice trembling a little but a smile showing on her tired features. "I'm coming home."

She heard her father scream with joy on the other end of the line and the tears gathered at the corner of her eyes. Her thirst for distance and travel had been quenched; she was ready to face her daily life once again. A year, a whole year, that's how long she was gone, not giving anybody any news about herself except for her father, because he was paying for half her trip. They talked a little more, and Beca promised she'd make a safe trip home. She was currently in Australia, working in a small music shop for the past month or so. The last thing she said to her dad, and this time her voice was vibrant with pride and happiness.

"There's somebody I want you to meet, Dad."

A week. That's how long it took for Beca to get accustomed to her new life in Italy; she befriended some nice people, and found a couch to crash on ― a different one almost every night ― because hotels weren't her thing.

A month. That's how long it took for her to find a job in Italy and start saving money for her next plane ticket. She discovered she was really good at making food, and soon was promoted from waitress to cook in the small restaurant where she was working.

A year. That's how long it took for her to get over Jesse, to heal her heart and learn to love again. She met him in France when she was looking for a job and he discovered her playing her mixes in the street, gathering quite the crowd. He offered her a job at a little radio station, she accepted. She told him from the start that she wasn't going to stick around. He asked if he could stick with her. She said yes.

A day. That's all it took for everything she'd went through to be held over the edge. Life was putting her to the test, again. Maybe, this time, she'll pass without flying out the country again.

Beca had announced to all of the Bellas that she was back, well her former Bella friends, who didn't know where she went for the past twelve months. At first they were delighted to hear from her again, but then questions started popping up, and Beca answered them all. They even called Aubrey and Chloe, who'd been worried sick that nobody knew where she was for so long.

"Beca!" a shriek more than a name, and before the brunette could do anything; Chloe was wrapping her in a bear hug and crying tears of joy.

"Oh my God, Chloe, stop, please! You're choking me!" she said, her words half buried in the fabric of her shirt.

"That's what you get for not contacting us for over a year, Beca!" she said, and then let go, slapping her arm hard.

Beca winced but nodded, a giant smile splitting her face in two. She was genuinely happy to see Chloe, and happy things were still ok between them. It would take some time readjusting to their friendship, but nothing was lost, and she was still this bright and bubbly young woman that Beca loved so much. Aubrey had managed to forgive her, and when Beca saw them link fingers, a surprised look made the couple giggle. "I guess you missed a lot." Aubrey said with a tender smile for her partner.

"I guess I did. I'm happy for you guys, I am. You're good for each other." Beca replied sincerely.

They celebrated her return at her dad's house, and even with lots of alcohol, Beca was feeling good. Matt was with her and he knew all about her story. He knew just how hard things could've been for her, coming back home, but he believed in her and she loved him just a little more for that. She was dreading this, but she knew she had to call Jesse, to let him she know she was still alive. Also, Beca wanted to confirm that her year away hadn't been for nothing. She needed closure, and Matt understood that.

The phone rang and she was nervous, holding on to Matt's hand. She got his voicemail, and decided to leave him a message anyway.

"Hi Jesse, it's me, Beca. I'm back… I was wondering if you'd have a chat with me. I… I have a lot to tell you, to be honest, and I'd really appreciate if you could call me back as soon as you get this. Ok. Bye."

Beca didn't have to wait long before he called her back. She'd just put her phone down when it rang again. Quickly swiping her finger across the screen, she brought it to her ear, a smile tugging at her lips.

"Beca!" Jesse's tone was happy.

"Hey man! Guess you got my message, uh?" she asked, unable to keep her smile from widening.

"Yeah I didn't hear my phone; I was watching a movie with Tara. Oh my God, Beca!" he replied, and Beca could hear the smile in his voice.

"Tara, huh?" she asked lightly "Are you free tonight?" she added after a second, waving at Matt who left the room.

"Yeah, Tara." Jesse said, and she heard a question in the background, he muffled the receiver to answer and she heard a skeptic "Oh" that made her frown. "Tonight sounds good, where do you want to meet?" he asked after a few more seconds.

"How about I take you to dinner at some nice place?"

"Pick me up at seven?" Jesse's mind was racing with all that could go wrong, but he ignored all of it, because he was genuinely too eager to see her again.

"I'll be there!" she answered, forbidding her thoughts to go back to the last time she saw him.

The day went on and she found herself being a little clingy with Matt, following him around the house, always wanting to hold his hand or get a kiss. She got ready and once she was in her car ― her dad had saved it for her all this time ― she realized just how nervous she was. Beca kicked herself, there were no reasons for her to be nervous, this was only going to be a nice dinner with an old friend. _Except he was your very first love and you pushed him away so much he didn't take you back when you were ready_, some nasty little voice said in her mind. She shook her head to wipe those thoughts from her mind and drove away.

Jesse hadn't seen her since he walked away from her ― _again_, his inner voice added with an evil smirk ― and he didn't know what to expect. When he saw her, radiant and looking so beautiful, his heart was filled with pride, but something inside of him was stung with hurt. It had been a year since she left and things were easy, simple with Tara, but looking at Beca now, he realized that maybe, letting her go was a mistake. Maybe, after all, they weren't broken, only bent. Maybe if he'd given her another chance, they would've work things out. He smiled politely as all kinds of thoughts raced in his mind.

Beca didn't know how she felt when she saw him. She was afraid everything would come back, that all of the sorting out and the crying and the healing would do nothing. He smiled at her, and there was something off with his smile, but she smiled back. All of her fears went away though as they drove in silence to the restaurant. She didn't feel that hole in her chest anymore, didn't feel the need to hold his hands, to touch him in any way. Beca felt good with him. She cared for him, she found herself curious about this Tara, but not in any jealous way, just simply curious. He'd always have a special place in her heart, but Matt had taken over, and Jesse was a memory, a bittersweet memory, but still just a memory.

She was over him.

Even if he wasn't over her.

THE END.

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**A/N : Ok, so I feel like I need to explain myself, and so there will be an Author's Note "chapter" updated soon to tell you all about that fic and WHY I made it that way because I know some of you will be disappointed and/or sad and/or angry at me.**


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